extremesports124

My Life as told by me...
2002-02-19 02:07:53 (UTC)

Soul Coughing

Head over heels, thats the best way to describe the way
i feel about him. I am trying to forget him, but its hard.
He went out with kelly, and I was there for him when
she hurt him, he thanks me for that, I just hang on the
things i regret not saying to him. He says he loves me,
to tell u the truth, that makes it harder. I know he loves
me and he knows i love him. I told him i like him and i
THINK i asked him out, im not so sure if i did... thats
sounds so stupid but we'll just leave it at that. And he
just wants to be friends... im cool with that. I really am.
But all of the sudden i found him and Sam-- this girl i
had started being friends with like a WEEK before--
getting closer. I wasn't ok with that. But there was
nothing i could do, i was too late. Before i knew it, they
were going out. I guess he didnt know I was in love with
him... He only knew i "liked" him. Whether that's bull of
not, we'll never know. I guess i just got too attached to
him, i dont know. All i know is this feeling. It feels like
im drownding. I'll never reach the surface. Not the way I
am right now. I need to get over him, but I can't. When
I'm with him, I forget about Sam, and i feel like he does
too, but he doesn't. While i know they wont last, its
almost like i want them to. then i wont have to face the
realization that he doesnt want me... he wants tits and
ass. But i dont think i could ever believe that about
Chris. He says he goes for the emotional side of ppl, i
guess thats why he chose to go out with the two
whores from our grade... hmm... thats a thinker.
Somehting about him makes me ueasy. Almost like he
really does only like girls for the way they look, but wont
tell me. Oh, and did i forget to say that chris is a junior
and all of his relationships in the past 6 months have
been with freshmen...? that just doesnt settle right with
me. Cant he find ppl his own age? I guess not. I left out
the part about him sleeping with Kelly a few months
ago. Kelly freaked out cause it was her first time. He felt
really bad and still blames himself completely. He told
himself--and me-- that he would never go out with a
freshman again... but looks like he lyed.




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