nelly_454

Why Me ?
2002-02-18 17:29:21 (UTC)

Sam???

I talked to sam on the net today. I tried to show her my
feelings, i dont know if it worked, but i think she is
going to go out with some guy named Kyle. She says that it
will only be temporary, and that she still loves me. I want
to believe her, but it is so hard considering she dumped
me. I love her, but she hurt me real bad, and lost a lot of
the trust i have with her. I am trying to rebuild it so we
can get back together. I just hope I am right in trying to
get back together with her. I would sell my soul just to
hold her again and call her mine. I talked to her on the
net and here is what she wrote if u even care:

Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
sam
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
austin?
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i miss you.
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
im reading candices diary
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
why dont you believe me?
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i read your whole diary last night
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
so?
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
u said in the end that u told kyle u liked him
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
i did
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
like a month and a half ago
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
it was yesterday that u wrote this
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
when he asked me why i was mad at him and wouldnt talk to
him
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
no it was two days ago like at one in the morning
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
u also said that u forgot about me when i left, i never
forgot about you ECER
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
EVER*
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
i didnt say that!
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
ill look at my diary and see what you are talking about
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
ill copy it right out of the diary
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
. Kyle I've liked for so long, and I've realized that
Shandielle was completely wrong about him and she
interperated him completely wrong, and Austin I liked when
I saw him and I forgot about him away from him.
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
ok about that: i met you then forgot about you, i saw you
again, then forgot about you
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
With Austin, we always have to be
doing something sexual like make-out, but with Kyle, he
told me he just likes to cuddle.
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
thats what it meant
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
and that, is NOT true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
all i wanna do is be around you
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
why dont you ever tell me these things?
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
because i couldnt for some reason
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
I've been talking to Kyle for the past few days, since the
dance, and he's told me so much and has made me so happy, I
don't know what to do.
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
I don't know if I want Austin, which
I've realized our relationship isn't all that I've thought,
or if I want Kyle, the person I've had this major crush on
since the beginning of the school year.
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
will you stop?
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
nowhere in that does it say, u STOPPED having a crush on
Kyle
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
stop what?
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
because i didnt!
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i am extremely hurt
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i want to. . . .
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
you want to kill yourself or kill me
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
no
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i dont want to kill anybody
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i want to be with you
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i want you to like me again
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
i love you more than anything austin!
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
and i KNOW you dont trust me on that!
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
why did u dump me then? yes i trust you. but why did u hurt
me soooooooooo bad if you love me???
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
sam. i believe you. i know you love me, i just dont know
why you HAD to do this, why we couldnt just talk???
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
i dumped you because the fact that i liked kyle was driving
me nuts and he told me he liked me so it was hammering
inside my head.. i didnt want to cheat on you with him
because thats wrong so i decided the only way to deal with
it was to go out with him, which is the wrong thing to do i
know, but hes already broken up with his current girlfriend
so its too late.. im coming back to you but only if
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
you let me
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i want you to come back to me please
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
last night i was driving myself nuts and thinking to just
tell kyle no and to call you at like 4 in the morning and
ask you back out but its already too late to do that
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i wont ever do anything sexual again if you want, and i
wont say i love you all the time and we will go do fun
stuff more often, now that i have a job and all
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
you dont understand how confused i am right now and how bad
this is hurting me, all you can think of is yourself and
how bad you hurt and you cant think that this may just be
tearing me up too
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
ARE YOU GOING OUT WITH KYLE NOW ?!?!?!?!?!
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
no im not
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
he just broke up with his girlfriend last night
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i am thinking of you, tell me how u feel
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
i just did..
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i was telling u how i feel
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i know it hurts u too, but in a way it is ur fault
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
i know its all my fault
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
u r the one that made it start
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
u knw what my means? it means "Why does the one I love hurt
me so bad?"
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
because im such a bitch and a whore and i cant think right
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
u r not a bitch !!!!!!!
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
or a whore !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
maaybe i am not the one for you
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
if thats what you think
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
then i guess not
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i wish i could say u definitely are, but maybe not
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i want you to be the one
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i would give ANYTHING to call you my girlfriend again
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
then make me the one dont give up on me like you are doing
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
I AM NOT GIVING UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
yes you are!!!!
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i seriously will get pissed if you go out with kyle, im not
trying to stop you, but i will go crazy knowing that u r
not my girlfriend
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
you think because i might go out with kyle that its the
complete end
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i want you back
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
now
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
well then have a little patients like i said
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
its hard
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
u might fall in love with kyle and forget all about me
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
i wont fall in love with kyle
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
did u think u were gonna fall in love with me?
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
no but i know i wont fall in love with kyle
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
im in love with you
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
*sigh*
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i love you, and i dont see how you can do this, i love you
sooooooooo much, i could never hurt you like this, i would
never dump you just to go out with another guy
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
girl in my case
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
thats not the only reason and the reason why i did that to
go out with him is because i didnt want to cheat on you and
it was hammering inside my head because i used to like him
so much and i didnt know what to do so i just took the easy
way out
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
you dont understand though
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
and if u go out with kyle, will u still say i love you to
me? would u still cuddle with me? would u still talk to me
all the time?
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i DONT understand, i would try to work things out, not just
dump you
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
i would still tell you i loved you, i would still cuddle
with you becuase i love becing in your arms, and i would
still talk to you every single chance i got
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
being*
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
but ur still not MY girl
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
u would be KYLEs girl
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
in a sense i am yours
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
how? how r u mine?
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
hes only temporary
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
never mind
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
sam, it really pisses me off, and makes me so sad i wanna
die all at the same time
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
I Love You. i cant help it that i love you, i cant help it
that i am serious in a relationship, but if i werent then i
would go off and cheat with somebody, so its a good thing
to get serious, i never asked you to marry me, i never
wanted to steal you and move away, i just wanted you to be
my girlfriend, to be there for me, to love me.
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
sam? r u still there?
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
i was getting serious and it scared me, ask your mother,
and im just terrified that you are going to hurt me no
matter what you say.. i dont know what had gotten into me
at the time about kyle, but last night i realized my
mistake and its too late to change things around.. i know
you never asked me to marry you and i know you never wanted
to steal me and run away i just thought a little too hard a
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
which in turn made me think of kyles promises and it made
me run to him.. i thought too hard about the relationship
we were in and thought of the little tiny problems in it
(which were hard to find) and thought that me and kyle
wouldnt be like that
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i will never hurt you, you are the one that hurt me, and
that is why i was so skeptical and scared and insecure,
because i knew something like this would happen
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i knew you would leave me for someone else, didnt i always
say that?
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
and when you were being insecure it scared me off because
it pissed me off when you kept asking why i liked you, dont
leave you, etc..
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
because i knew you would leave me
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
well i guess you were right and i was wrong
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
happy now?
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
NO
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i want you to be mine, not kyles, mine, and yes that is
selfish
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
well if we start dating RIGHT NOW then you will become all
freak outtish again and you wont trust me.. i know our
relationship has been damaged because now you dont have
trust in me and i understand that
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i trust you
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i am hurt
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
bullshit
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
if i didnt trust you, with all of my heart, why would i
tell u everything about me, including the thing about the
pedophile
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
you dont trust ill come back to you you dont trust i love
you you dont trust anything about me.. you trusted me then
but you dont anymore
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
it said incandices diary that you knew i didnt love you
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
so you cant even deny that
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i trust you, i love you, i just get scared cuz' i am afraid
you will leave me,
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i was pissed las night and i said a lot of mean things.
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i have settled down now, im not extremely pissed anymore,
im really sad
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i did say those things, but i was so pissed i was ready to
shoot something, anything, even if it was me, ask candice,
i was being stupid and suicidal
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
i know i read the whole thing
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i am thinking rationally today and trying to see it from
your perspective
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
you arent doing a good job of it
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
im trying
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i understand that you like kyle, you got scared and broke
up with me, i would get scared to if i started liking
someone else, but i would handle it differently
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
that is cuz we r different
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
im not you though
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
exactly as i said,
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
so i do understand u like kyle (which really hurts me) and
that u broke up with me to fix the problem but i dont see
how that fixes anything, the only person who doesnt get
hurt is kyle
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
why do you want him to?
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
do i want him to what?
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
i might hurt him in the end because i might leave him for
you again
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
why do you have to date him in the first place
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
because i know i wont be able to stay with him long becuase
ill be thinking of you the whole time, i already have
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
then get back with me
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
problem solved
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
AUSTIN
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
forget about kyle, go with austin
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
KNOCK IT OFF
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
what?
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
im just trying to help
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
if you keep on doing this then ill make myself forget about
you!]
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
why?
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i thought you loved me
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
youre being such a fucking asshole right now!
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
i DO!
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
ok
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
type whatever you were gonna say and i so rudely
interrupted you
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
you wouldnt understand why i want to be with him right now
so forget about what i was going to say
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i dont
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
how do u feel right now?
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
pissed off, hurt you dont trust me, confused, torn up to
hell, lots of shitty things
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
just let me go through with this i know what im doing
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
sam, i love you, and i will always love you, but if you
date kyle, im gonna get really pissed, i will still be
waiting for you though, i will always wait for you, just
dont take it the wrong way if i have trouble talking to you
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
i understand that, but i know why i need to go through with
this
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
tell me why u need to do this?
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
candice was right about him distracting me from us, i know
she was right.. but it doesnt mean i dont love you so much,
i feel horrible for what im doing
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
so if u feel horrible dont do it
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
i need to do this because i know if i dont then i will
still think about him.. ive liked him since the beginning
of the school year and i jumped at the thought of him
liking me and when he told me something happened and i dont
know what the hell im gonna do
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
i feel horrible because you are putting guilt trips on me
over and over
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
why shouldnt i
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
u shattered my heart into pieces
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
and i know how that feels
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
i have never been hurt so bad in my life, i love you, and i
know its not true, but i feel like u dont even care about me
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
now do you understand why stephanie was doing this with you?
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
what was stephanie doing?
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
now you cant blame her for anything
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
she was doing exactly what you are doing
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
boo hoo come back to me i love you so much dont do this to
me
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
yup
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
knock this shit off ill talk to you later i need to get
ready to go to town
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
its is so hard to let go though
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
no please dont leave
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
i love you dearly and wish that someday you will understand
why im doing this
why doesn't anyone believe me? says:
i have to austin
Pourquoi l'un I aime-t-il le mal je si mauvais? says:
im trying to understand


and then she left without saying goodbye :(

someone please tell me if she is still in love with me or
she justs wants a way out? I believe her, I want to be with
her and the only way to get there is to trust her. It is
going to be hard but I will try.


austin(the used and abused squishtoy used to crush my heart)


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