Fire Star

My battle
Ad 0:
2002-02-18 15:02:24 (UTC)

The day before it starts

Dear Diary,
Welll one more day until my fast. I'm looking very forward
to it! I bet your wondering though, "Why didn't she start
today, or the day before that?" Well, the reason is my
boyfriend. A while back i used to keep a daily food log, it
kept track of my weight and how much i ate everyday (which
wasn't much) This scared him alot, he told me that he
wouldn't care if I gained weight, but if I was loosing
weight he would have to break up with me because it would
hurt him too much to watch me do that to myself. For a
while I was ok, i figured he loved me and it didn't matter
how much i weighed. But, when your an ana, that feeling of
wanting to lose weight comes back very quickly. So, today
he is taking me to lunch. I have to eat something because I
have to be careful around him, he can't know about my fast.
It really hurts that i have to keep ths from him because he
is my best friend and I tell him everything, but I just
can't let him know. I just can't. No one can know, just me
and god.

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