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2002-02-18 03:20:42 (UTC)

New Week Of The Same BS

This week was a bit rough for me I suppose, this getting
used to being alone stuff stinks. The whole problem is I
love being married and the security and the feeling of
knowing I have someone to come home to every night, and now
that I don't I miss it. Although I don't know why, when he
was here he wasn't really here, so in all honesty nothing
has changed much, I guess in many ways I have been alone
for a long time now. I don't regret him leaving or anything
I just get lonely I guess for companionship. I just feel
like I am at a point where my life is standing still, from
one minute to the next my emotions change. And I keep
giving in and calling him for no apparent reason, I guess
just because I need someone to talk to and he has been the
one I have talked to for the last 2 yrs. I don't know
maybe I am losing it. I have to try to stay focused on the
main objectives though, and I have to make sure I stay sane
for the kids sake, they need me more than ever right now. I
just don't know wether to ignore the fact that he hasn't
called to check on them or wether to talk about it with
them I know they r wondering why he doesn't seem to give a
damn, but I can't be honest with them, I don't want them to
hurt, so I just keep quiet about it, I guess it's the best
thing to do. Well I guess this is it for the night, not
much has changed same ole BS this week!!