I feel sad again.
Music: Strike Anywhere, Grob, Saves the Day, Blondie, Lube
I feel better now. I felt shitty before again. Why?
Because Jonathan never wrote back to me. I feel so
pathetic. Even if he doesn't like me, he should write
back. Its not nice to ignore. I think I scared him away. I
wish we could at least be friends then, but now I don't
know the chances of that happening. I'm thinking about
writing to him on Monday and tell him that even if he
doesn't like me, its alright, but let's be friends at
least? I would be happier if we would be more... yes, but
I could live with friends only. (I wouldn't tell him the
last line.) I think I will write to him on Monday... give
him until then to reply. Just in case he didn't check his
email yet or that he's thinking of what to say. Oh well,
time to move on I guess.
I felt incredibly shitty. My stomach did flip flops. I had
this sickly feeling rush up to my chest. It can't seem to
make its way out of my mouth.
All I want is a nice, smart, interesting, and attractive
guy. And Jonathan is. But I guess he thinks I'm not. I
don't know why he doesn't like me, but I can't think of
why he would like me either. I feel better now, but I'm
still a bit sad and depressed.
Its 5:01 AM Sunday, I should head to bed. I didn't shower.
Ick. Too lazy.
Hmm, should I go to the organizing meeting for the
National Student anti-war conference thats being held next
week? The organizing meeting is at 5 PM. But Arpana asked
me tonight if I could go to a party for her parents at
6:30 or 7 PM. I said okay. I already said I would go to
the organizing meeting last week though. Blah... maybe I
can go to both. Leave the organizing meeting earlier and
arrive at the party a lil late. It never happens that way
though. If I stay for 1.5 hours tops at the meeting... I
can get to the party around 7:10 hopefully. I'll find out
from Arpana tomorrow about what time it starts exactly.