Thoughts from Blue Angel
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2001-04-29 23:29:03 (UTC)

This is Me

I'm planning on making this diary public, so just in case
someone happens to stumble upon it, let me make this first
entry an introductory one.

My name is Jennifer, and I'm a soon-to-be high school
graduate. I'll be 18 in a few days. I guess I've lived a
pretty average life- living in a small town with my
parents, a younger sister, and my dog. I work at a
convenience store part time after school. Blah, Blah...
Not interesting, right?

I'm involved in a lot of things. Music, theater, speech
team, scholastic bowl, ect. I was voted Most Talented by
my senior class, and I'm currently 6th in my class. I
would be first, but I'm not exactly the most self-
disciplined person when it comes to homework. For what
it's worth, I scored a 33 on my ACT.

What you just read is usually what I tell people about
myself. It's especially handy when people ask me what I'm
"into." However, the truth of the matter is that I don't
really feel "into" anything anymore. My days just kinda
run together.

I have found myself progressively getting deeper and
deeper into this rut of depression and extremely low self-
confidence. I have also become an agnostic, as opposed to
the strong Christian environment I have grown up in. (I
assure you that this is NOT what has caused my state of
depression.) Rapid changes have occured and are occuring
in my life. Yet, through all these changes, I have kept up
the appearance of the "old" Jennifer.

You, the reader, may be the only one I ever reveal my
true self to. There will be moments when I say horrible
things about myself, and moments when I handle my negative
feelings a bit more healthily. This will be my outlet- a
place where I can express my emotions without fear of
offending anyone close to me.

So, with that said, I invite you to go along with me on
my journey to find myself.

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