The Nightshade Princess
2002-02-17 01:58:00 (UTC)

somewhat damaged

There has been much to write during the past few
days. Unfortunately, father saw fit to ban me from the
internet for a day, so I did not get the chance to relate
these tales.
St. Valentine's Day 2002:
The school day passed as if it were a dream. People
full of laughter and love, or tears and loneliness, as
there always are on such days. It seemed completely
unreal, full of roses the colour of blood. I wore lipstick
in a shade darker than that deep crimson, somewhere between
red and the black that made up the rest of my outfit as
usual - I was being festive. I looked at the rose my
beloved gave to me that morn, wilting already on the desk.
The strangest thoughts began to creep into my feverish
mind - This rose loves you, it is dying for you... It lies
limply on the artificial wood, as a lover somewhere between
sleep and death. I fell deeper into thought gazing at it,
caressing it with my eyes, noticing every detail. I know
not how this came into my mind. I have been in the oddest
of moods lately, and I cannot seem to account for them at
Later that day, after I had put the beautiful, dying
flower into the arid laundryroom so that it may dry, I
began to get hyper. I was, after all, going to see my
beloved soon, and I had only to finish some homework
first. When this was done, and I was jumping about, I
managed to injure my foot rather badly. It is quite
swollen and painful still, though I can almost walk upon
it. I shall likely have a lovely bruise when the swelling
eventually subsides, thought it has already been 2 days and
it is but slightly discoloured.
Last night was horrid. I do not wish to go into it
now, but I very nearly DID have that breakdown which seems
inevitable and so very close these days. I ended up
sceaming and crying almost incoherently for reasons of my
own, which would not usually have bothered me to such an
extent. I really do think myself going slowly mad.
I finally got in touch with Shadow... that is right,
my dearest sister Raven, my beloved LesTaT... I speak with
him in email now, we have begun the exchange. He was so
very glad to hear from me! I only hope that this lasts,
for there seem to be forces pulling us apart at an alarming
rate. I must go now, time constraints are digging into my