Lizzy 8oP

Ad 0: - Modern SaaS monitoring for your servers, cloud and services
2001-04-29 19:04:42 (UTC)

Dear Diary, This is my first..

Dear Diary,
This is my first time ever writing a online diary and I think it's a good thing for my friends and relatives to know what I think and feel about some comments they sometimes make about my personal life and also my life experiences I have had during my everyday life. After my brother's sudden death of December of last year diary, I felt I have changed a lot now I feel I can't trust no one. My brother was my best friend and nobody knows how much I miss him. I dunno why I can't show my emotions anymore I think it's because I have had so many family tragedies and my mother is so sick I feel that if I show my emotions I might make her really sad and she might get even worse in her sickness. Well lets just drop this subject because im getting really depressed. Well after my brothers accident my mom decided for me to meet my relatives from my dad's side (he passed away when I was 2), I had not seen my relatives since my father passed away, they had this huge fight over something I really cant dicusse at the moment and the thing is that I have never seen them for almost 15 years!. Well today was my first time seeing them since that happened they live around a hour and half away from where I live in Palos Verdes. I was really nervous of what they would say when they saw me again, and also if they would like me. I have nothing againts my fathers side family because the problems they had were between them. They seemed pretty cool people diary, I know my brother would have love meating my uncle, he looks a lot like my brother when he was younger, and I have 4 cousins, I always wanted a big family because even though I have 6 siblings all together, my mom only had one sister and my aunt only had 3 children, and from my dad's side he had 4 siblings (which one passed away about 3 years ago) and they all have children. I never meet my grandparents from my father's side because the passed away when my father was 6 years old. As you see diary I have had tragedies all over my life but I still haven't told you some of the most significant in my life. I really like my father's side family exept for an aunt who my father when he was alive did not want my mom or me and my brother to geet close to her, and of course I will respect my dad's last wishes because I dunno why he did not want me near her only my mom and him know why not. Well I really have to go now diary because I have to drive all the way to LA and it's an hour's drive.
~ Lizzy ~