No, Im not a freak!
Ad 0:
2001-04-29 18:10:00 (UTC)

Sorry, today was depressing.

As I sat watching Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks falling in love
without knowing it, I realised that Hollywood is an un-
realistic world. Films should be made to stimulate the way
people think about the world.
When it was over, I started to think about my life. Not un-
realistic, but in no way did I want it to be.
The phone rang. I answered it. One of my friends, or so I
thought, telling me of another friend and what she had said.
It's amazing. You can put as much into the world, but it
can turn it's back on you so quick.
Without telling you my life story, lets just think of this
diary that I'm starting as revenge. Revenge on Chris. The
person I was once infatuated with. Who I would never let a
bad word be said against. Now, it just so happens to be me
saying those words. One day, I'll show him this diary.
Which brings me to why I have a diary at all:

I used to be really popular. An all-round nice girl. I
could talk to anyone about anything. I could make anyone,
no-matter who they are feel like an normal human being in
any circumstance. I was once told, that I was a lovely
person to talk to. A 50 or 60yr old man telling me that he
had never had a conversation so, moving. He told me about
his daughters, his wife, his marriage and divorce. He cried
too. I don't know why. But, I'll never forget it.
But, my life, as perfect as it may seem to people, I wish
I could be someone else. I don't want to be the daughter of
succesful people. Or with top grades. Or with an incredible
future ahead. I want to make a difference.
I want to change the world. I'll show Chris that I will
always stand above him, never stoop below him and prove
that I am, undoubtably, better than he is.

Without talking forever, this diary is the start of my
life. I will write in it every day. I want people to
understand what I think and maybe help me understand what
that is.
Unrealistically, I want this to be the start of my
changing the world. Perhaps one day, like "You've got
mail", it could be a film to help people understand what
the world is really like.
Hard, cruel, bitter, unhappy and at the best of times,
sometimes with a glowing smile, just like my life.