2002-02-17 00:39:32 (UTC)

Here we are again, another..

Here we are again, another weekend, another time off of
school to do more school work and catch up with what I
wanted to do, spend more time on projects, and read books.
I'm kinda pissed off. It's as though I have nothing better
to do. Which basically I don't. There are so many things to
do. I just can't really do them. But it's okay. I'll live.
All I want is to get into a good college away from my
family, and away from the harshness that Chicago has tought

Which brings me to my next point, and Teresa, I know you
will not like to hear this, but I don't want to go visit
you. It just seems like a waste of time. I mean I would
love to spend more time with you and totally go crazy in
Calli. But it's just gonna blow off alot of time that I
could have been working and saving for college, so that the
best years of our lives will be spent well. Besides, I
think I'm gonna wanna be an actress, and let's face it, for
me to get a scholorship is almost impossible. Atleast to
pay off all of my schooling, or atleast half. Especially if
I go to Juliard, which I doubt. College will be even
harder, with more homework, and no cheating, copying or
anything like that. Especially when it comes to acting. You
can't exactly copy off someone's performance, for your
final exam, you can't copy off someone's homework, when all
you're suppose to do is learn your lines. (Espesially when
the lines are different.)
I have a bad memory, and it is hard for me to learn because
I can't force myself to do it. I have to want it. Sometimes
my mind is just to tired even though my body is well
rested, and I can't study, or know what to do about it. I
need more time to do well and educate myself when I'm in
College. So I want to earn cash now, and get some free
experiance, so that later I can have it atleast a little
bit easier.

I'm thinking of working at Starbucks, cause I would love to
make coffee, especially cause I don't know how to make
anything. Or I could volunteer at this Theatre thing and
get hours and experiance. I don't know. One way or another
I can't have any distractions. I really gotta focus and it
is, well I don't know I'm loosing focus now, so I'll just
log off.