2002-02-16 18:53:09 (UTC)

Saturday Morning

Last night was... it was ok. I hung out with doozer and
Puzzo. Then the show started at 8. The only band I didn't
like that much was Miracle of '86. I was kinda bored with
their music, it wasn't too exciting. I hoping to go by the
4's last night and hang out at Sigma Nu, with Casey. But he
didn't call and when I called him they said he wasn't
there. Apparently he was all over some other girl. I have
no right to be angry or anything, because I am the one who
wanted an open thing with him. Yet he made such a big deal
about caring about me and being the one he wanted and blah
blah blah. I don't know if it is jealousy due to not
getting what I want, or if I want him at all. I admit that
I do like him, but I'm not really sure how much. He kissed
me on Thursday night. It wasn't that he was a bad kisser or
anything, but...I guess I just wasn't into it. Usually when
you kiss someone they want to be kissed. I didn't really
want to be kissed - it wasn't the right moment. I guess he
thought it was. I don't know if he was able to tell that I
wasn't into it, because he kissed me again later that
night. We left each other on good or normal ... whatever
you want to call it terms. But it was still weird. The next
day ( friday) I saw him in Gengras. I had met up with Zach
and Michelle to eat some lunch. I saw him sit on the other
side of gengras with one of his brothers...Travis I think.
Anyway, on my way out I went over to say hi... that's
normal, right? He didn't seem too interested in talking to
me, as if there was some weird situation. So now I am
incredibly confused. Way too much thought has gone into
this whole thing, and there has been soooooo much pressure
since last weekend when he "propositioned me" to be his
girlfriend. Last night I also bumped into Trey. Yes,
Trey... again. I didn't think I really liked him. I thought
he was just another boy to think about.I sat and talked to
him and Mike about the casey situation, since aparently
there is a lot to it. And Trey was cool about it and
listened well, Mike did too. Trey told me to call him if I
didn't have anything else to do. After the show, I went
over to F complex to talk to Kristin and figured Trey would
be somewhere over there. I went outside and called Casey,
but the person who answered the phone said they couldn't
find him... which was probably bull shit. So I called Trey
and got his machine. Annoyed and a little hurt, I went back
to my room and sat at the computer and played with the
pictures I had taken that night. Robert called, so I went
over there and hung out with him and Will. It was nice to
relax and chill with my boys. I love them. I really do.
They are always there for me. I am so lucky to have them as
There is a lot of work for me to do today. I hope I get it
all done. I also hope that Casey calls. I'm not really sure
why, but I was kinda sad not to see him last night. It is
like I have gotten used to seeing him and it has become
part of my schedule. I kind of enjoy that. Ehh... we'll see
what happens.