Lisa Ann

Ups & Downs
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2001-04-29 12:25:51 (UTC)


**********I REALLY LOVE HIM**********
I did it, we broke up, I think I already said that in
the last diary entry. I did it for the both of us. We
were just not getting along (my boyfreind matt and I). I
hurt extremely bad. It feels as if my heart is incomplete
without his presence, or just his voice over the phone. I
want to crawl back so~ bad. Am I being foolish? Am I
giving up something I have looked so hard for? A love.
Some people don't even come across the loves of there
lives, and here I am. I have him right here, and I let him
go. How stupid, but am I? I am so confused, and I can't
answer any of the questions that I ask myself. I asked
him, "do you just want to end the relationship?" He said
it was up to me. He doesn't have any imput? Does he not
care? So I did it. I followed through. Now I just have
to keep following through. He gave up on me. Or did I
give up on him? Did we give up on each other? I guess I
just have to go along with the saying, "if you love
someone, let them go, if they come back, they are yours
forever." I just hope he comes back. That he loves me as
much as he once said before. Or maybe we will both be
stuborn and not give in. I don't know what to do. I am so
confused. I guess I just have to wait. See how things
go. That's all I can do... right??? God, if he only new
how much pain I am going through... if he only knew the
love I still hold for him. I really do...
Bye everyone...