Leelu918

Titanium rods and Listerine

I've wanted it done for 5 years. Finally it happens. Not to
say I'm unhappy with it, because I really like it, but I'm
not as satisfied as I had hoped I'd be. Hypocritical, I
know, yet.. damn. I don't know. I guess a childish part of
my mind was thinking it was going to be a magic fix-all and
take away these emo feelings I keep having. Sometimes, I
wonder if it's a push and shove thing... Maybe if I just
accept it, they will subside? Fuck. I hate this world.
I keep just wishing I could be 7 again. Fighting with my
brother, then getting up and hugging him goodnight without
a second thought. Eating meat and not knowing anything
different. Thinking of my parents as superheros. Zebra
striped gum. Raffi rocked my socks and school was just a
big recess with worksheets. Fairy tales and bedtime
stories. Falling in love and happily ever after. Damn. Kids
have nothing to look forward too. I wonder what the suicide
rate would be if every child knew better. It's like I
crossed over some fucking invisible bridge that raped me of
my innocence. Now pain actually hurts. I hold grudges.
Slaughter. War. Hate. Married life is a sham. The princess
is just some slut putting on a show to get daddy's
attention. Corruption. Greed. Humans. I'm sickened by the
fact I perpetuate this all. I try not to. It happens all
the same. My life really isn't mine. I'm not sure it ever
was. Or ever will be for that matter. I feel so damn
helpless...