What would we do without ourselves today?
Where would we be without ourselves today? What would we
do? How could we live? How could we live without
chatting on im.....sending e-mails, and conversing about
events that never happened and that aren't real
(sitcoms). What would i do if i couldn't talk to joe over
im about an e-mail he sent me about seinfeld? what would
i do if i couldn't drive in my car to my destination?
what if i didn't have a computer? a bed? a brain? why do
we ask ourselves these questions? i know we always do.
how did we get here, why did we discover this, then that,
very simply, if we didn't discover it in the order we did
we'd be asking ourselves about the new order.
do we need pepto bismol?
do we have it?
because of the chili challenge.
now how long did it take us to develop to teh chili
challenge? a damn long time. a long time! to stuff chili
down ourselves and shit it out at high velocities. i'm
sure our cavemen fore-fathers weren't like, hey we shoudl
build this wheel so that our kin can drive expensive,
jacked-up, over priced, over-souped-up cars to the chili
challenge to take their colon on a rollercoaster ride.
do we need dancing hamsters?
for the love of god yes! hammie here is dancing aroudn
and i'm loving it. he's shaking his furry bottom to "i'm
too sexy for my fur" and i'm getting in to it.
you know what we don't need?
sarcastic, cynical people! you all have me! for the love
of god, you shoudl realize me as the bain of all humanity,
why woudl the rest of you want to be like me? i mean i
make fun of paraplegic minorities and make religious
people feel like Allah or whoever just took a shit on
them, why woudl you want to?
so it's valentine's day that's why i bring up sarcasm and
cynicism, is this day a safe-haven for you fools? now
because you feel cheated you can act like dipshits (a.k.a.
me)? smoek some weed. plllllllllllllease. drink some
beeeeeeeeeer. do some heroinnnnnnnnnnn, and shut the fuck
up. dont' stare me down. don't give me withering looks.
fuck you all. one thing i must say, you that dont' do that
and have the reason to are great people, and you're the
ones it will work out fine for. dont' give me a dumbass
look when i ask for my ice cream. don't act all downsie
like and shit.
as you may have guessed, i had a nice valentine's day, and
i'm a lucky guy. so if you want to kick my ass, my name is
zutroy kolon, and i live in wyoming, come and get me, i'll
hit ya upside the colon with a chili challenge so fast
that your guinea pig loving head will spin.
ja. das ist goot. ich bin oesterreicher, und so ist es
halt. lang lebe Foghat.