My problems.
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2002-02-15 01:53:36 (UTC)


I've come to a realization today. No matter what I do, no
matter how hard I try I will NEVER EVER find someone.
Every time I find someone that I actually like, they end
up not liking me back, but liking me as a "friend" only. I
can try all I want, but no matter what I do it always
comes out exactly the same. Do you wanna look at
examples? Alright.

A n g e l a -

I honeslty thought that me and her had this great and
wonderful thing. The reason being is that we always
had this great time and I thought she really liked me. I
always liked how she wrote her beautiful poems and
stories and I honestly thought something good could
come between us. But to my shocking dismay she
didn't like me like that at all. Whenever I do something
that she doesn't like she tells me she hates me. But I
guess thats the truth, shes always hated me... Which I
seriously doubt. I think she hates me because I try to
help her and I only tell her the truth. Even though the
truth may sometimes hurt there is no reason to give a
false lie.

A p r i l -

April and me have a great friendship but I haven't talked
to her since atleast last Wendsday. Me and her would
always talk on the phone and it was always the greatest
time I ever had. We can talk for hours and hours about
anything and I really do miss talking to her alot. But
again, she has a boyfriend and hes her fianciee or
however you spell it. I know that she likes me too but
thats not good enough. I mean I seriously REALLY like
April. Who else can I talk to for 9 hours on Christams?
No one. I should problably call her but I'm honestly too
afraid of what the responce would be. Maybe shes not
there. I don't know. But nothing is going to happen with
her because she loves her boyfriend and I can't blame
her. I'm happy that shes found someone so special.
But I will always care about her and always be there for

K i m m e r Z -

Exact same thing happens here. Her and I have this
wonderful connection. I trust her with everything. So I
tell her I like her and she tells me that she doesn't like
me like that. She just likes me as a friend. I tried so
hard with her too. I did everything possible to try to
impress her. To show her that I was the person she
had to be with. But alas my efforts proved wrong. She
likes some guy that uses her, but whatever, as long as
shes happy. I'd rather be her friend then not her friend
at all. She means a lot to me, a real lot. The sad thing
is that I think this guy doesn't even care about Kim and
hes just using her. She's even admitted that. But as
long as shes happy thats all that matters.


So what does all this prove. Exactly what I said before.
No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try. It's never
good enough and it';s never what the girl wants. Why
do I have to be such a damn good friend? Why can't I
find a girl that will LIKE ME.

Exactly. I will NEVER find anyone. I'm not pissed off
about it and I'm certinally not gay at all. Don't even try to
call me gay cause i ain't. I may act like im gay with Matt,
but me and Matt are just really good friends.

So pretty much this has been the worst Valentines day
for me because I wrote Kim 3 poems. Three poems.
Each of them special in their own way. The only thing I
got for Valentines day was a two braclets and a card
and 2 suckers from Nick. ( the suckers really don't
count)... So yeah thanks Steph, I'm sorry I didn't do
anything for you or get anything for you.

I feel really stupid though. I was going to give Angela a
fake rose for Valentines Day because shes my friend
and shes alergic to all flowers. So I figured it be cute to
give her a fake one. But she didn't talk to me once
today. Not once because she hates my guts. But ya
know what... It's alright because she can hate me all
she wants but I'm always going to be her friend.


Not very happy
But not all that sad,
My life moves on.

Days come
And days go
Slow and fast.

The tide is turning
And a new wave is coming in
I just have to catch it.

Women confused me,
Women hurt me,
I want someone to like me more then a friend.

I try so hard
And no matter what I do,
No one likes me.

I am a freak
Because I care to much,
And that is my downfall.

So now that I've
Seen the truth
What to do?

Go on.
Move on.
Let go.




What did you expect?
Fools often sometimes forget
Who really knows what's the truth
Often dignified
How funny changing the tide
Feels like you already knew
(Praise) like the devil
(Connect) you would never
(Sick Man) running circles
Feels like you already knew
(Praise) like the devil
(Connect) you would never
(Sick Man) running circles
Feels like you already knew
Save you
I would never
Deny you
Even though your hate for me is strong
(See) I'm not what you
(Think) I'm the one who'll
(Be) what you never
Thought would be nothin' and now
And now you realize
Always you lived in a dream
How would it feel if you could
See past the lies
Oblivious to all of my cries
No hope when I knew that you could

[Chorus repeat 5x]

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