jane_doe

where to start?

there are a million things going through my mind right now,
and i want to get as many of them down as i can. i have no
idea where to begin. it's nothing important, i just feel
the need to get all of this out. so here goes.

first, i found the coolest/worst thing ever today. i went
to kmart to get some batteries and i remembered that i
didn't have any more razor blades, so i went to pick some
more up (just in case). well, they had a pack of double
edged razors cheaper than the normals ones. i just thought
that was good...hehe twice the cutting for half the price.
i'm pathetic.

anyway, on to the next thing. today in design we started
working with clay. it was messier than hell. i had stuff
everywhere, and all we did was make a few slabs to use to
form the base of our shoe. hehe, it was great. since we
got out early, i went down to the metals room (it's right
down the hall) and went to work on that for a while. i
have all 4 sides cut out plus the two spiders for the end.
i have to finish cutting out the webs, then put it
together. i have a lot to do, but it's so much fun. it's
coming along rather nicely, too. anyway, the point of both
of those things was that i realized i'm totally in love
with art. i'd never really worked with clay before, and
definitely not metal. i absolutely love both. i've got so
many ideas, i just can't get them down fast enough. i
think after working for a couple of years, i'm going to go
back to school and get a ba in studio art. i don't know
what i'll do with it, but i just need to take more art
classes. i ended up working on metals for 3 hours, and it
felt like no time at all. it was great. i love the
physicallity of it all. don't get me wrong, i still love
drawing, but i don't know...there's something about making
something out of metal that's just wow. i can't even
describe it.

that leads me to the next thing. while i was working,
konrad came in. i hate to say this, but i kinda like the
guy. not as in crush, but i just don't think he's so bad
anymore. see, i don't talk much at all during class.
however, i do listen. over the past couple of weeks, i've
realized that his ego is rather small. being conceited is
nothing but a facade. i feel so bad for him now. everyone
is so mean to him, so he acts like a bad ass to sorta
justify their rudeness. in my opinion anyway. he's
actually pretty nice when there aren't so many people
around. i dunno...i'm a sucker for people that get picked
on. i hate bullies and i hate rude people. i guess now
that i see what's really going on, i just feel bad for
him. if they don't leave him alone, i'll be forced to turn
into a royal bitch.

next thing...while working on metals, i took a break.
jillian (fellow freak) and i went to the union to grab some
coffee. they turned our fucking awesome coffee shop into a
lame ass starbucks. it was decent coffee, just was over
priced. while we were there, will showed up (punk boy with
the mohawk from the chicago trip). i about pissed my
pants. turns out jillian knows him. damn he's cute. and
really funny. and really smart. that got me thinking.
there were four of us 'freaks' sitting together in the
union, bantering back and forth about our freakiness and
what not. i don't understand why society looks down on us
at all. for instance, jillian was talking about seeing
this little old lady try to hike up this hill with about an
80 degree incline (i shit you not...this hill's a bitch).
jillian ran over and took the lady's arm and helped her up
it. then, she helped her back down. jillian has scalpeled
ears, a labret, and a pierced septum. she also has
multicolored hair and wears all kinds of crazy shit all at
once. most 'normal' people i know wouldn't have done such
a thing. then back to will. a lot of people around here
label the punks as slackers. he's extremely intelligent!
i swear...he blew my mind today. anyway, my point is, i
think that some of the better people on this planet are
freaks. we're not afraid to be different. we're also very
open minded, which i think counts for a lot.

ok, i think i covered everything. i know there was
something else, but i just can't remember right now. if i
think of it, i'll be sure to come back. sorry to anyone
who might be reading this...i know it's rather lengthy and
dull. i just felt the need to say some of those things.
oh, mom and granny will be here in about an hour.
hopefully things will go alright. i didn't get them
anything for v-day. i think i will take them out for
breakfast instead. alright, i'm going to go sand my
spiders and watch csi. take care everyone :)

jane_doe