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2002-02-14 11:16:12 (UTC)

Valentines Day

It's Valentine's day in case you didn't know. Yesturday she
wouldn't stop going on about how a present she got me isn't
going to arrive in time (mm, sounds like Christmas, and my
birthday) but then I don't really want or need a present,
I'd rather she just showed me that she loves me. That'd be
better and mean more to me than any present she could buy
(well, maybe not a Ferrari). Still, I guess I could be
asking too much. She got me a nice card though. I'm
wondering when lover-boy's card will arrive. I know he's
gonna send one cos he always does, even though she knows
that it hurts me when he sends one all she can say is "We
do it every year, it's just a bit of fun." Yeah, but every
year she's known her ex and it's been Valentine's day she's
been going out with me. So this was an anual tradition that
wasn't even a year old when she said that to me. I know she
loves to exagerate on everything but sometimes it gets to
the point of blatently lying about stuff. Anyways, she did
get me some nice underwear (for her to wear) which did look
pretty damn good on her, an some other nice stuff so it's
not all bad. Just this card business really gets to me. So
the first year I said I didn't like it and she got pissed
at me, the next year I said nothing and she got pissed at
me (said it showed I didn't care about her) and this
year... hmm, what to do. I guess get pissed at her (that'd
be the logical sequence right?) for saying she's had enough
of her ex and she's told him how things stand but he still
sends a card. Or maybe not...

So it's my grandma's 90th birthday at the weekend. My mom
asked us to go and visit her. Not a problem I though as
there's not that many people who get to be 90 years old,
for a start, and because my Grandma loves to see up and it
would mean a lot to her.
So she's gonna have a sort of open house on the Saturday
for her friends n all and then we were gonna stop over in a
hotel and go out for lunch with her on the Sunday. Of
course, this fucks up my girlfriends plans no end. First of
all she says she's happy to go. Then she starts getting
arsey about it. I know she has a problem doing anything
which isn't all about her so I'm trying to talk to her
about it. She says she just doesn't like old people, no
offense to my Grandma (plenty taken thanks), and this is
only a few days after we went out for her Grans birthday
(which was quite a horrible experience but I went and
didn't complain because she asked me to be there). So then
she says maybe she'll just come up on the Sunday for the
family thing, but changes her mind saying that my Mom had
booked the hotel and it wouldn't be fair on her, although I
would still have stopped over on my own if need be. Another
excuse was she wouldn't know anyone - neither will I. It's
all distant family who I haven't even met so I'll be in the
same boat.
It seems that if it's not arranged by or for her then it's
not allowed. How selfish is that? Everything has to be
about her. I can't handle that. I was brought up to be
nice to people and to help people out. I realise that
sometimes in life there's stuff you don't want to do, but
that's life! She says people take advantage of me. I say
I'm good natured. I agree there's a fine line, but if I
didn't want to help people out then I wouldnt. I'd tell em
to fuck off, but I like to help people. Why should I see
someone struggle or suffer if I can help. I'm not some sort
of sadistic fucker who enjoys the torment of others. If
someone needs something that I have but could do without
then let them have it. But she doesn't understand this.
It's a few hours out of her life, can she not manage that
for someone who nay not even have another birthday? It's
hardly like we'd be doing anything anyway. It'd be a normal
weekend. We go to the shops, she complains there's too many
people there. We'd go to her parents on the way home, she'd
complain about it some more. We'd go home and sit down.
Done. Maybe out for dinner, but not much more. Same again

well, this si too long already and it's pissing me off so
I'm gonna go have a shower.