victim of circumstance

all i know is i don't know nothing
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2002-02-13 23:25:55 (UTC)

To You (you know who you are)

my little heart is troubled
at what you've done
forgiveness won't come easily
you hurt me so much
i cried then and i cry now
you can apologize for forever and a day
but it stil won't hold meaning till you mean it
why did you do such a thing? how could you?
did you even consider me at all?
all that hard-earned and time-honored trust
gone in a sentence that was never meant to be said
it \"slipped out\", apparently
things like that aren't supposed to slip out
was it worth it?
destroying this friendship
i never should have opened myself up so much
at least you taught me one thing:
never open up again; trust no one
it was a hard and heart-breaking lesson to learn
i don't know where things stand now
if they'll ever stand again
you can't keep pretending and wishing that nothing happened
that won't change a thing
i loved you once
i don't know about that anymore
my mind feels ripped
my heart feels raped
i look at you and see apathy
i look in your eyes and see regret
so contradictory
more important than thinking, what are you feeling?
you bastard
you fucking asshole
you ruined everything
despite all this, i think i love you still
and want to be your friend (the best friends we once were)
but do you still want to be mine?
it doesn't seem like it; that's what hurts most
you see, friends (especially supposedly best ones)
don't do stuff like what you did
i can never tell you or do anything personal with you again
not for a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long,
long, long time at least
and i don't want that
i want to say it's allright and make this all go away
but it's not that easy
it hurts too much still to make you happy
you don't deserve it yet for what you did to me
if i hurt, you should hurt too; you did this to me after all
you apparently have even better friends than myself to turn
to (why else would you tell them my secrets?)
so turn to them; you obviously don't want me anymore
i cry
i ache
i grieve
you disappoint; whenever i see you,
you seem to be happier without me
i lost my best friend today . . .


where do i go from here?



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