MsKarma

even elizabeth hurley goes to the loo
2002-02-13 00:48:33 (UTC)

i wish i had some whiskey in a jar...

so it hink that my.. "stress" is makign my stomach do weird
things.. i feel icky.. and my stomach is making weird
noises... and i dont; feel much better about myself, i
mean i do a little, but im still scared.. my dreams are
still really vivid and kind of off, but, im glad im having
them, cause they aren;t off at all, really, they are right
on in almost everyway.. i woke up this morning and in my
head i was like, step out step out step out.. like do
things you wouldn;t usually do do new things, try new
things, step out of youre norm and things will be ok.. so..
i knwo that i should, it sjust a matter of doign things,a
nd i hoep its not too late, like.. i hope i don;t die
tomrow without having lived my life alot... liek today
jason called kelly to tell her to be careful ont he way to
school, and i thought that maybe i should call my dad and
say i loev him, so it was odd, goign to school, and there
were itmes today when it was really scary ont he way to
school, and i got to school, and i was so thankful to be
alive it was great... and yet, after that you woudl think
that i shoudl be like, you're alive don;t fuckign squander
this, but i still do, and i realize, i can start now, but
what if i dont; start now, when do i start? and what if its
too late... it can;t be what ifs anymore.. i really can't
do what ifs anymore... i need a kick in the ass to tell em
it'll be ok when i move, and when i do things because i
think i should, or because i knwo i should... rah... i need
someone to tell em its ok, and osmeone to be like, you can
do it, and all ishould need is me! why aren;t i telling
myself that cause im scared!!! oy vey!




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