chris is so strange. i mean, i thought he was the quiet shy
dude, but man, no he isnt. i thought he would be the type
to stand 10ft away from me. but definately not so. thats
great. and he laughs at my stupid jokes and he's always
smiling at me. then again he roughhouses a little more
violently than expected. i mean, its horseplay but jeez,
dont knock me into a wall! he also makes more crude jokes
than i thought he would. well, i can handle that, no prob.
i just didnt think he was like that in the first place.
I was at ------'s house today. we were (sounds pretty
stupid, we werent in class or anything...) passing notes.
lol more like writing all over the paper and he said he
liked me. not now. i mean, i've practically been AFTER him
since the 6th grade. well, only a little, its not like i
was asking for it or anything. i was perfectly happy being
buddy's and i think we evaded going out for the longest
time. so now that we're BOTH going out with someone he
busts out with that.
i am so annoyed at myself. i'm not doing great in school. i
mean, not any better or worse than usual, but its
just..sigh. i am so desperate to get away from, well,
EVERYTHING. i dont want to be here. i want to start over
just like every other military child. i want to move around
and try to survive someplace else instead of watching the
whole world, and my best friends drift away from me. They
think they know me. they dont. and those who i would trust
to know me cant realize that i have changed soooooo much.
thats what summer is for. to change. they're surprised but
then its all gravy. its like hey, thats different. ok. and
besides, i'm going to ktown high next year. so thats the
closest to starting over i'm getting. and you know iused to
ave abs like a rock and that all desintegrated over the
holidays and i used to run and love it and then i busted my
foot got out of practise and now i'm huffin an puffin.
Whatever. need some korn.