Zippy

Sleeping with the lights on
2002-02-12 18:21:03 (UTC)

Just another entry

Yeah, it's the same day, and it's only been about 4 minutes
since I wrote my last entry. Oh well. I don't think I'm
ready to talk about anything, except Steph.
When Steph and I went to that rave..you know..the one that
ruined my life, we were so close that night. I still don't
think it was a good thing that I went, but in that moment
Steph and I were close and I would do anything to have that
back.
Steph was my best friend. She was..everything a best friend
could be. I told her..everything. Now, I don't even talk to
her. Maybe it's because I have chosen not to call her, but
when I try I hang up. Steph has become somebody completely
different from me, and I know that she is happy..but I
can't help but feel an aching in my heart now that we are
not friends. We spent our whole summer together, and before
that as well. We were never apart, and when we were, we
always missed each other. I don't think that anybody can
take the friendship place in my heart ever again. Since I
got into trouble, we just drifted apart. We knew it was
happening but I wasn't going to party's anymore, and she
still does. I know that is what Steph was meant to be, but
somehow..I just went along to see what it was like. After
that, I just rebeled against everything. I fell into a
hole..and at the top of the hole, there wasn't even Steph
to bring me out. She kept me sane. I have never known
anybody more special than Steph, and now..it just kills me
that we are not even talking. I worry about her a lot, and
I know that I don't want to sound like a hypocrit, but I
can't help myself for wanting her to stop. I can't even
talk about this


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