Saxqueen

Cbay tales, blokes and my mates
2001-04-27 07:57:29 (UTC)

It's a downward spiral....

Oh god I feel so bad! This choosing thing wasn't getting
any easier when one of the blokes started getting really
funny and pushing me for an answer. I sort of felt sorry
for him so I said it was him, at the same time as going out
with the other one. I felt really bad, even though they
both live in different counties there was no way I could
pull off cheating, I I didn't even want to cheat, I had had
that done to me, and it hurts.
I dont know what made me want to say that in the first
place. Everything has become way too much. Anyway, I
couldn't exactly turn around and say to this guy, "Actually
I've changed my mind, I don't want you" coz thats just
evil! So instead Iv text him telling him Im not ready 4 a
relationship etc. And I know its guna hurt him realy bad,
but what can I do? Its better than cheating. I feel really
rotten, not only have I hurt everyone else during this
whole problem, Im confusing myself and getting stressed
out. This can't be good when I hav exams coming up. I hope
Iv made the right decision. I s'pose only time will tell. I
hope the other bloke isn't too mad at me because I have to
spend alot of time with him until October, and it will be
so hard if he hates me, coz I do still like him. Maybe it
would be better if I didn't go with either of them.... what
do you think?
Saxqueenx





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