faraway

faraway
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2002-02-11 22:05:21 (UTC)

Anticipation

A couple of our recent emails:

From him to me....

-That is one of the nicest things any one has ever told me.
I love you with all my hart, and every day I ache to be
with you again. To night all I wanted was for you to be
with me enjoying the night, but I'm glad you weren't there.
There was to much chaos, every one was trying to get
something from some one. The hole life feeds on life thing
was what everyone was about. There was little kids trying
to sell me candy as her parents tried to sell me sex, at
the same time, every one trying to live, in such a
horrible place. It made me so sad. I couldn't have fun when
all this evil was around me.
I was dancing in a club, girls tried to dance with me but I
was already dancing with you, in my head. I just want to go
home and hold you in my arms again. You make all the bad
things become tolerable. I can't do any thing but love you,
with every thing I am. It's the only thing that makes sense
in all this chaos. I'm like a wolf, loving only you feels
so right.
-
That was after he went down to mexico from san diego with
his buddies, still kinda drunk when he wrote that I think.

From me to him...a few emails later...

-I feel so good right now. I can't wait to see you
darling, the very thought of it leaves me elated,
barely able to contain the energy I get when I think
of seeing your face, touching you.
Mmm...lovin...
Have a great day, my sky-blue eyed panther...
-

I am so in love.

Only nine more days! Oh my god I can't wait. I get shivery
with anticipation just thinking about it. We're going to
have so much fun, and do so much together. I am so lucky to
have him, he's such a good man, he treats me so well. His
past girlfriends took him for granted. Foolish foolish
girls, their loss is my gain.

On the other hand, I've kinda giving up on the idea of
becoming friends with the short haired girl in my class. I
was going to ask her to do something, but the day I psyched
myself up for it, she wasn't there. Then the next day she
was talking to the teacher after class, and I didn't want
to look stupid just standing there waiting so I left. I'm
going to fill myself with the tao and just go with the
flow. Whatever happens is alright.

I've been putting off my homework...I have two papers due
the day after tomorrow and I haven't started either of
them, plus I have a bunch of other stuff to do. One of them
I can't even start yet because I haven't gotten the book,
damnit. I tried cashing my savings bonds the other day so I
could buy them but I was thinking the bank closed at five,
and when I got there at four thirty they had just closed
the doors and wouldn't let me in. The corporate bastards,
they told me they were my friendly neighborhood bank, that
they really cared about me, the customer. It's all lies,
lies.
Honestly though, I've been feeling really good lately. I
switched birth controls and feel waaay better, less drowsy
all the time, and started taking vitamin b again so I have
more energy. Plus my baby called this morning when I was
sleeping...the best way to wake up in the whole world, to
the sound of his voice. I love fawning over that boy, and
he can't get enough of it. We have something beautiful,
special. Goddamn he's sexy too.


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