bay turtle
This is Reality?
Peanut Butter, Jeans, and a healthy dose of Angst
Food? Who needs food? I'm sorry, but 7am is too early to
eat breakfast (after showering, and walking out the front
door). Lunch will be a PBJ, and dinner (since I wont' be
arriving home until 8:30) will most likely be peanut butter
crackers.
That's a lot of peanut butter in one day.
Am I even spelling that right?
I spent two hours this afternoon relaxing and snacking, ie,
eating lunch. I know that soudns awful. I really didn't eat
very much, I just munched on the little i had over a period
of two hours while I read some fanfic I downloaded last
night.
Speaking of night, I hope I get ot bed while it still is
night.
I pulled out my homework, and started on my history paper.
That was at about 5pm. Of course, once i sat down in front
of the computer, I realized I had to do laundry. Damn! Just
to top things off, I forgot to put the clothes in after the
washer filled up with soapy water.
Long story short, it's 10pm, I'm still working on my essay,
I've had about a million interruptions, I still need to
read Act II of Julius Caesar, do the quesitons with it, and
completing my biology homework couldn't possibly hurt.
Does anyone have the new Train CD? Track 6 sounds like it
has pinball noises behind it... Maybe I've just been
listening to it too much.
I swear, that child makes so much noise in the bathroom,
and he tells me *I'M* loud! I'm not the one banging stuff
around in there! Of course, I'm also not a jerk, or 13
years old.
ANyway. The peanut butter and jeans thing. I had to wash my
jeans because a) they're filthy, and b)they're going to
Chicago. I WAS going to wear them tomorrow to be comfy
since I have to stay at school until 8:30, but our dryer is
broked, and the laundromat is closed. I suppose I could
always hang them outside, but they might freeze, and they
prolly wouldn't dry fully anyway.
I"m sick of eating peanut butter crackers. They're my snack
everyday at school until I get home at whenever and eat
lunch/dinner. I had asked Mom two days ago if she could get
some lunchmeat from the grocery store so I could bring a
sandwitch (I so can't spell that word) for dinner, or after-
school snack, or SOMETHING, but did we ever get any
lunchmeat?
Nope.
But hey, I don't need to eat or anything. Naw, why would I
need to eat? No matter that my hands won't sotp shaking
when I haven't eaten in a couple of hours, or my head
starts pounding, and I feel lightheaded and extremely cold
all at once.
No biggie.
And sleep, I can do without that as well. :: rolls eyes ::
I'm just perfect, I can do everything. I only wish that
were true.
When will people stop expecting everything from me? When
will I learn to balance school with everything else? When
will I be able to accept that i can only do so much? I feel
like I am already turning down every offer that comes
along, but I *really* do so much already- chorus,
orchestra, service club, german club, german honor society,
national honor society, medical club and I'm taking an AP
history class. That's just at school.
I feel like I need to simplify, but I can't decide what I
want to give up.
I'm going to finish my paper, and homework, and fall in
bed. I"m too tired to make any coherant decisions right now.