LooLoo

What's in a title...

Well. What do I want to say. Just had it out with R. I kept
my mouth shut the weekend I called & she and her BF were
smoking crack. Then she took sedatives & had to go to
hospital for overdose.
Huh..
Then last week I was talking to her and she tells me that
her roommate found her passed out in the bathroom with her
pants around her ankles & had to drag her to her room.
Huh...
So this morning she is messaging me telling me how this
weekend was wild. She showed her tits on the street (Mardi
Gras, but in Austin, not NOLA), at some point was lying
down in the street, and at another point slid down some
wooden stairs ON HER STOMACH.
Huh...
And because I know her, I know that on all of these
occasions, she went right to her car and drove home.

So, today I lost it. I told her exactly what I thought.
That she is out of control. That she needs help. I pointed
out all the things she has been doing and shouldn't. I
urged her to get professional help. Because she really
really needs it. Because she is not in control of her
actions and her actions are being dictated by drugs and
alcohol. And that I couldn't listen to those things. That
her luck would run out and she would either hurt herself or
someone else.

She pretty much told me that I am overreacting. That she's
happy she has a friend that cares as much as me. That she
knows its been a little wild lately, but she needed to blow
off steam.

OK. I've said all that I could. I've told her. I am going
to leave it now and know that I did what I could. She is 30
years old. I can't drag her anywhere. I can't make her do
anything. Her actions are her own and her own
responsibility.

I wish I could run. And run and run and run. Work off some
steam.
That noted, I ran this weekend. And did my weight workout.
I have GOT to get into getting up in the morning to do
that. I feel like such a loser when I forget. I have also
gotr to get my eating under control.

I was irresponsible with $$ this weekend too. I bought all
this stuff to send to my nieces for valentines day. Too
much. A couple of small things would have been sweet &
enough, but I went all out. :)
And I may have bought a pair of boots for myself that I did
not necessarily NEED... I mean I needed because the heel of
my boot broke, but I had the choice of hte same style for
$16 on sale. Or another style for $49 on sale. I don't
think I need to say which I went for.

I was supposed to eat at this really nice restaurant this
weekend. I have been looking forward to it. But that didn't
work out. S didn't want to go because she thought that she
woulkd see "couples" there. People with dates. This is
getting out of control. I am really going to have to take a
serious break from her.I tried telling her just how
negative she was being and all she said was "This is just
how I am. I can't be any different." How does she expect to
meet anyone who wants tobe around her when that is the
attitude she has? When that attitude is the way she REALLY
is? Plus, I mentioned that I would like to ask my parents
to go with us and she FREAKED. Told me to go w/them by
myself. Iknow the basis of that is that they are dating.
It's liek she is mad whenever someone else finds someone.
These are MY PARENTS They divorced 6 years ago and are
getting back together. This is something I am actually
becoming happy about. How can someone have issue with that?

I have my bad attitudes, but damn....I try to nip them at
least.

Went to see the Count of Monte Christo by myself yesterday.
I enjoyed it. It was good. I really enjoyed going by
myself. I may go to see Brotherhood of thew Wolf next....