Jencaero

Happy Noodle Boy Rox!
2002-02-10 17:35:50 (UTC)

27

Drugs and shit
yea i know i said not to cuss and that i think i understood
why not to (finaly 'cuz i generaly only do things or dont
do them when i have a reason or when i think i have a
reason to do them or refrain from them )
anyways back to drugs
and shit
what is the purpose of them?
In the first place if they are harmful to your body then
why do them?
Wait theres that high and that experience is there not?
Of course i wouldnt know because ive never DONE drugs, but
its what one might guess.
so we have this feeling of whatever it is thats so great or
so strange, so out of this world that it takes you for a
moment for an hour for a day out of this terrible reality
we live in and lets you forget?
but there has to be more
doesnt there?
what is it about drugs (and shit) that attracts so many
people!?
i mean sure peer pressure plays a part sometimes (or so ive
heard/seen)
but what about the others?
The ones who decide on their own?
is it curiosity?
like nikkis friend said... curiosity killed the cat but it
mustve been one helluva ride.
back to that one thing
naw lets stray a lil
i dont have 'nuff willpower to stay on something like that
yet

the point of college of life of everything?
ive heard from one guy that the point of life is to make a
difference
what do I think though?
*sigh*
well if his theory is correct then i guess you could say
college helps you gain credibility
money in this day and age seems to help too
what is true success measured in?
everyone goes all out for the money
but it obviously doesnt satisfy
maybe a shallow pleasure
but no satisfaction because they always go for more
people always want more
if it satisfied, they wouldnt mind what they had
wouldnt have to waste their lives working
for money
for that damn car or that house or that game
theyd just live
live
what is living and how many people are really doing it?
what the hell is the point of it
i mean come on, we fucking die
oh yes, the ultamite deity though
we must please him (her? it?)
if we dont, we shall be eternally damned
but do we really believe? if we really believed, wouldnt we
be trying as hard as we could to be perfect?
wouldnt we see
so what is the point of life?
to LIVE or to contemplate?
or prehaps a balance of both
but living
living i mean we die
thinking
thinking is something else
thinking is living
?
sometimes when i do things it feels like a dream
and that i need to wake up
it feels like im not me
i speak... is that me?
why do i get up each day?
why do i work why do i do anything
and yet im pressured to am i not?
pressure and i buckle like the good catholic girl i am
brainwashed
ha heres an example:
christmas mass @ holy family :
Preist: lets have all the children up here
Children: Move up to the altar
Priest: Now i want you ALL to remember that christmas is
about jesus, not presents. repeat after me: christmas is
about JESUS not presents.
Children: Christmas is about JESUS not presents.
priest: christmas is the birthday of jesus.
Children: christmas is the birthday of jesus.
priest: very good. now lets sing happy birthday to Jesus.
remember this is what christmas is all about. on three...
one... two....
children: happy birthday to you (CHA CHA CHA!) happy
birthday to you (CHA CHA CHA!) happy birthday dear
Jessssusssss (CHA CHA CHA!) happy birthday to you!
(scattered cha cha chas heard)
priest: (in background while children sing) Children,
children (under breath: you little brats) no cha cha chas!
please children this is JESSSSSUS! now go sit down!


that was this christmas
my dad and i were almost on the floor lauging
everyone stared @ us because of that

it was funny (in my opinion) but it was also scary...
repeat after me....
and the priest never explains anything
he just preaches @ people instead of 2 people.
but im just a hypocritical critic arent i
i have faults too, why dont i see them in myself?
aha im too busy looking for faults in others
others
me the self centered little bitch that i am
all prissy and airheaded and shit
thats what i am

damn and i mess with peoples minds....

fuck

lol estoy loco
muy loco porque....
i dunno
i just am

i wonder who i would be if i was someone else
this goes back to my convo with loki yesterday though

i think im gonna go look at that
oh im not signing out with fucking eh' anymore, how bout
that! a step forward! (and 2 behind)