writings on the wall
2002-02-10 15:16:23 (UTC)

am i falling in love?

i miss him, dearly. i hate to admit it but i do. it
feels good to know that someone out there cares about me,
even if it's only for awhile. he's back in his hometown
now, having fun with his friends, i hope. i really am not
supposed to feel anything for him, since i know that this
will not work but i can't help myself. he's too nice to
me... i know that i'll do anything to have a bf who treats
me like he does.

sometimes i really wonder if i like him for the sex
or the way he treats me. i don't know, really. all i know
is that i am really looking forward to seeing him again on
the 16th. that will be like 6 days away from today & i
can't wait. it's been almost 2 weeks since i last saw him.

the other day we were chatting online and he told me
that if i were to be around for 2 weeks, he'll fall in love
with me. he said after spending some time with me, he
realized that beauty is only skin-deep. does that mean that
i don't look good enough for him? how can he say something
like that and still make me feel good after the
conversation? he said that he could see my inner beauty,
which i don't even know i have!

he said that he wanted to call me before Chinese New
Year & Valentine's Day. i told him that i would prefer it
if he doesn't but he says that he doesn't care. he asked me
not to worry about my so-called phone phobia & assured me
that he would take care of the problem for me.