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2002-02-10 05:31:50 (UTC)


VxLokixV: hey, its been a while.

Afipunkgodess: hey no kiddin
Afipunkgodess: what'sup?
VxLokixV: how are you doing?
VxLokixV: not much, you?
Afipunkgodess: pretty good i guess...
VxLokixV: you guess?
Afipunkgodess: heh yea one of the parents is in the
hospital cuz she had to have a surgery... the house is a ess
Afipunkgodess: ahhh the key that co es after l and before n
isnt working
Afipunkgodess: so hows your vision?
VxLokixV: Very blurry, and it fades at times, but it is
still there.
Afipunkgodess: lol nikki thinks youre lying
i dont know if i do or not
Afipunkgodess: lol
VxLokixV: She can think what she wants.
Afipunkgodess: so hows life?
VxLokixV: alright I suppose. yours?
Afipunkgodess: why do you suppose?
VxLokixV: Its rough, being able to see things. I wish I
were still blind, things were much simpler.

Afipunkgodess: as far as?
VxLokixV: the world is a more buetiful place before you
really see it.

Afipunkgodess: explain... i have never had the privelage of
not seeing it... i have always had the view of it as i have
VxLokixV: when you are blind you do not worry with the
prediuces of man. Skin color means nothing, niether does
nationality. I always say- being blind is eating oysters
with your eyes closed. The flavour is there, but you dont
have to look at the slimy thing before you swollow it.

Afipunkgodess: but why does it change when you see
Afipunkgodess: you had an untainted perspective
Afipunkgodess: why does it change for you
Afipunkgodess: the people are the sa e people
VxLokixV: now I can see what it is all about, the hate and
racism. It is sickening. All of it over something so small
Afipunkgodess: so what has changed about you with your new
Afipunkgodess: yes its been like this
VxLokixV: nothing has changed with me.
Afipunkgodess: youre lucky you can see things like that you
can tell the difference
Afipunkgodess: ive always lived with it ive always "seen" it
Afipunkgodess: so now its not so shocking because ive
beco_e desensatized ( i know sorry i spelled that wrong)
VxLokixV: I will excuse you misspelling if you excuse mine.
Afipunkgodess: thanks
Afipunkgodess: so what have you noticed about people
Afipunkgodess: have you noticed a lot of things that you
wouldntve seen if you had been blind?
VxLokixV: Yes. What people do when they think no one can
see is appaling.

Afipunkgodess: what do they do?
VxLokixV: many things. Steal. Rape.
Afipunkgodess: aha but there is another thing appaling
Afipunkgodess: those who see injustice occuring and say
Afipunkgodess: those who stand by and let it happen
VxLokixV: Yes, but most are afraid.
Afipunkgodess: yes but if no one stands up then everything
VxLokixV: As it is every waking moment.
Afipunkgodess: so what do we do... what is the best thing
to do in your opinion
VxLokixV: what do you mean by we?
Afipunkgodess: the world... people
Afipunkgodess: what should we do, not what do we do
Afipunkgodess: sorry
VxLokixV: we should not let injustices stand. But there are
so few honest men and so many people who wish choas.
Afipunkgodess: do they know they wish chaos, or is it just
that they dont see where theyre going with things
VxLokixV: I can not answer that question. You should take
it up with your god.
Afipunkgodess: take it up with god???
Afipunkgodess: good idea i guess
VxLokixV: Yes. The question is not mine to answer.
Afipunkgodess: i wish i could be satisfied with the answers
i have but i always end up looking for others
Afipunkgodess: i always have another question to ask...
Afipunkgodess: so what do you want to talk about?
VxLokixV: hmmm...
VxLokixV: I do not know.
Afipunkgodess: if you could accomplish one thing on this
earth, what would it be? (realisticly?)
VxLokixV: I would want to live on an island, me and my
family, somewhere in the tropics.
Afipunkgodess: thats nice
Afipunkgodess: when did you get that idea?
VxLokixV: I have always wished to live in the islands. The
smell and feel of the air is just so....refreshing.
Afipunkgodess: ive never really experienced or noticed it
Afipunkgodess: i dont feel a lot of things ... take the_
for granted so_eti_es
VxLokixV: most poeple do.
Afipunkgodess: yes but i try not to be like "_ost people"
Afipunkgodess: then again i guess _ost people dont want to
Afipunkgodess: but i could be wrong
VxLokixV: Most people say they do not wish to conform, but
deep down they do.
Afipunkgodess: how do you know
VxLokixV: I know people

Afipunkgodess: i think that i want to be _e nothing _ore...
Afipunkgodess: i want to know _yself
VxLokixV: of course
Afipunkgodess: well what about you
VxLokixV: what about me?
Afipunkgodess: who do you want to be... do you wish to
VxLokixV: I do not conform. I am simply who I am.
Afipunkgodess: thats great
Afipunkgodess: i dont know who or what i a_
VxLokixV: You do, you just dont know you know.
Afipunkgodess: lol well not knowing i do doesnt help
VxLokixV: It doesnt, does it?
Afipunkgodess: you could argue that not knowing i know
_yself is the sa_e as not knowing
Afipunkgodess: not as far as i can see (or as far as i
think i see)
VxLokixV: You could.
Afipunkgodess: but then again you could argue a lot of
VxLokixV: indeed
Afipunkgodess: do you argue a lot?
Afipunkgodess: with yourself, with others?
VxLokixV: Yes, to both
Afipunkgodess: do you think its a good thing?
Afipunkgodess: _y parents tell _e that i argue too _uch
VxLokixV: You should argue if you havce a point
Afipunkgodess: but you cant _ake people see your point
VxLokixV: No, but you can attempt to.
Afipunkgodess: yes but so_eti_es you have a better chance
if you go about proving your point so_e other way
Afipunkgodess: i hate it that people think i have nothing
of value to say just because of age
VxLokixV: I know that feeling.
Afipunkgodess: what do you think is the biggest thing wrong
with people?
VxLokixV: hmm...there are so many different things....
Afipunkgodess: then say all that co_e to _ind
VxLokixV: I suppose I could put some into the catorgory
Afipunkgodess: explain
VxLokixV: people atitude tword life. They all move to fast.
You have to smell the roses.
Afipunkgodess: i dont understand _any things... the with
words is that what one word _eans to _e is so_ething else
to you
Afipunkgodess: lol but therell be a bee to sting you
VxLokixV: Ah, good, but that a chance you must take to see
Afipunkgodess: but what if while i s_ell the roses the
violets wilt
VxLokixV: Then you smell the carnations.
Afipunkgodess: :-)
Afipunkgodess: while i_ so busy sniffing i dont see the sky
VxLokixV: When you finish with the flowers you have to look
up before you move on.
Afipunkgodess: while i_ looking and _oving i fall over a
tree stu_p and land on the ground face first
VxLokixV: You get up, brush youself off and keep walking

Afipunkgodess: and it rains and floods
VxLokixV: you put on you water rings and enjoy the ride.
VxLokixV: wings, sorry
Afipunkgodess: a bird co_es along and pops the_.... i drown
VxLokixV: You dont live for ever.
Afipunkgodess: but i wish to
VxLokixV: ah, but you cant
Afipunkgodess: but why
Afipunkgodess: is this body the only thing that i have?
VxLokixV: Of course not. You have more, but your body must
Afipunkgodess: but how do i know i have _ore
VxLokixV: You must believe you do.
Afipunkgodess: but why?
VxLokixV: Dont you want to go somewhere when you die?
Afipunkgodess: yes but i also want to know the truth
VxLokixV: The trueth is what you make it.
Afipunkgodess: why
Afipunkgodess: why isnt there a constant
VxLokixV: There is a constant. But you cannot see it.
Afipunkgodess: then how do i know it is there
how do i know anything is there
Afipunkgodess: what if this is all a drea_
VxLokixV: Then you can only hope to wake up.
Afipunkgodess: why
Afipunkgodess: drea_s are nice
Afipunkgodess: i think
Afipunkgodess: i never re_e_ber the_
VxLokixV: I always remember my dreams.
Afipunkgodess: i never do
Afipunkgodess: i only re_e_ber re_e_bering 3 in _y whole
life and! was a night_are
Afipunkgodess: *1
VxLokixV: Those are the most remembered

Afipunkgodess: yes negative... are you an opta_ist or a
VxLokixV: pessimist. always have been
Afipunkgodess: why do you think that is?
VxLokixV: I do not know.
Afipunkgodess: if you had a choice, which would you be?
VxLokixV: pessimist

Afipunkgodess: why?
Afipunkgodess: lol i sound like a @ yr old sorry
Afipunkgodess: *A 2 yr old
VxLokixV: Thats alright. I hate to answer with 'I am not
sure' but it is the only thing i can think off
Afipunkgodess: lol
Afipunkgodess: so why do you think youre you?
VxLokixV: whta do you mean?
Afipunkgodess: why are you who you are... why arent you the
sa_e as everyone else
Afipunkgodess: what sets your apart and how did you get
that why
Afipunkgodess: *way
VxLokixV: hmmm...hard question...I will ask the same of you
while I think about it.
Afipunkgodess: so far it see_s to _e that i think
differently... the people i hang out with notice too, and
tell _e... i generaly try to say what i _ean instead of
lying like _any of _y peers... ive been through things that
theyve never been through nor will be. ive lived in a
different enviorn_ent ive seen things they havent seen... i
dont know though. i want to be so_eone special so_eone
unique but the question is, a_ i? and is it a good
thing...? I dont know why i_ who i a_ or dont think i know
or whatever youd say it was. i dont know if i_ _e because
i_ _e or because of _y enviornent (including parents) i
dont know who id be if i hadntve had the sa_e experiences
ive been through but all this leads _e to wonder if things
are predestined if i can change anything if i have control
over _yself or if i just react...
i dont know
Afipunkgodess: heh oops that was a lot
VxLokixV: I can tell you just by talking to you that you
are special. And it is a good thing.
Afipunkgodess: thanks... but do people have any control
over who they are?
VxLokixV: Yes, they do.
Afipunkgodess: how?
Afipunkgodess: there are all these influences
VxLokixV: You control what influences you are around, do
you not?
Afipunkgodess: to a certian extent
Afipunkgodess: i do not control who i live with i did not
control where i was born
Afipunkgodess: or how i was brought up
VxLokixV: That is true, but you control how it affects you
Afipunkgodess: does everyone start the sa_e do you think?
VxLokixV: Yes
Afipunkgodess: then how they end up wouldnt be their fault
would it?
Afipunkgodess: because if they start the sa_e then each one
put in different situations would have the sa_e outco_e
VxLokixV: each one put in different sits. would have a
different outcome.
Afipunkgodess: But then we dont start out the sa_e
Afipunkgodess: ?
VxLokixV: If you put water in the freezer, it freezes, and
if you boil it it turns to a gas, but it starts as water.
Afipunkgodess: if i take 2 candles and theyre the sa_e
height and width in the beginning and place the_ under sa_e
conditions and light the_ then theyll burn the sa_e
Afipunkgodess: but the water doesnt choose to be boiled
so_eone else boils it
VxLokixV: hey, I hate to cut this short but I have to run,
We will continue this later.