Aleah

What's The Point In Anything?

Me again....another over worked night has me exhausted. I
finished my mission statement & I'm all ready for Monday.
What am I saying? I am all ready for next April to get
here. I want out of this place so bad.

All I ever feel is fear. I can't even sleep in peace.
Everyone says God has not given us the spirit of
fear....well, someone gave it to me & it's not going away.
How you you just ignore your surroundings? I know for a
fact that my dad is doing narcotics again & so I am pretty
much getting ready to go through what I've always been
through. CONSTANT HELL! I am not even going to tell mom.
She wouldn't listen when I told her not to let him come
back into our home, so at least I am going to see peace
until she finds out.

I'm sick of living this way. I want out on my own now, but
I can't have that until April of next year because of my
fucking age. It doesn't make sense to me....I am perfectly
capable of taking care of myself. Will I even keep trying
until then? I don't know. Everything seems to point to the
only way there is out for me now....that's suicide.

Aleah