This is the beloved air I breathe
2002-02-09 22:56:42 (UTC)

to be honored and humbled

Have you ever had an experience where something happened
that totally elevated you in the sight of other people,
but instead of inflating your ego, you were completely
I had one of those situations last night.
I entered myself in a campus wide "night at the Apollo"
(it's a fancy title for a talent show), but at the time
that I entered, I didn't realize that this was a full
fledged competition. I thought I was just going for every
other open mic night on campus where there are like 10
people there, and the people go with their guitars go and
sing about political stuff, and how they hate the world
and stuff. This was truly different. The very way that
it even happened was different for me too.
I went in to one of the practice rooms in our fine arts
building to practice a song that I had written to see if
that was what I wanted to sing, but I just couldn't get it
right that day. That night I had just come out of a
class, and something that was said in that class totally
triggered me and I sat down and wrote the poem that I have
posted up here. (I don't remember the name, but it's like
2 or 3 entries back and the first words are "I am a
sunflower") After I wrote the poem, I also wrote a song to
go with it. It was like a response to the song. It was
really cool, beacause the response was triggered by one of
my friends here at college. I thought that the poem was
cool and stuff, but I never really thought about doing it
for an open mic night. When I was practicing the orignial
song I was going to sing though, I just couldn't get it
right, and I felt very strongly that I was supposed to
read the poem that I had written and sing the song to go
with it. I didn't want to do this at all for a couple of
reasons: First off, I thought my voice sounded good
singing the original song i had written, second because I
think it's really tacky to stand up to an audience and
read a poem. I had never done it before, but I imagined
it to be tacky. I felt like I really was supposed to do
it though, so I decided to go for it. I was placing my
trust in God because I knew that there was a reason that
He wanted me to do this poem. I was also placing my trust
in God because I realized that I was giving up my
competitve edge by not singing the first song, and
therefore my intentions were wholy on bringing Glory to
To make a long story Short, I won first place. There were
many acts that night, that were very good, I thought some
were actually wonderful, but I won. I still can't
comprehend it. Why did I win? I'm not saying that what I
did wasn't good - I think it was, but I didn't have any
intentions of winning. I didnt' NEED to win. I am
completely humbled. I was laying in bed last night
thinking "Wow God, I trusted you, and look what came out
of it". God does little things for us all the time to
show us He's involved in our lives. Just the very process
of calling to sign up for the talent show was hard, but I
trusted God, and He used all of this to bring me closer to
There is a may originate from scripture with
the words "Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord and He
shall lift you up". it's true. And I don't mean in the
eyes of people either. I mean that God has lifted me up
towarsd Him. I am so complete, my life is so wonderful
and I am joy-filled.

as always, I welcome responses