2002-02-09 20:37:54 (UTC)


I am discovering everyday that there is more to my
person,than I ever knew,or deemed possible.I have always
been and will always be narcissistic and vain, my own best
friend,my worst enemy,my own greatest love.Laughing at the
meer thought of romantic moments,the kind that will always
be remembered and never forgotten.The moments that when one
reflects back on,will make their heart race,and put a smile
on their face.For myself I have none of those moments,those
memories so magical they are to never be forgotten.Of
course for that I have only myself to blame,those moments
have by some been attempted,but instead of riding out that
moment.Too it I would only scoff,and laugh at
the "ridiculously romantic".But as I said before I am
starting to see within myself a new person emerge.I have
seen a new light begin to burn.I begin to wonder when it is
I will get my "ridiculously romantic" moment?Or for my past
actions is something of which I am not worthy?I am finding
a new appreciation for the "ridiculously romantic".I still
have to wonder even in this new found light, would I ride
the moment out to replay it over and over in my mind.Or
would I once again laugh ,in fear of losing touch with
myself, the narcissistic vain self centered one I have and
will always be?
I would like to think that I would ride out that one
incredible moment and remember that I was not losing touch
with the me that I have always been,but rather putting it
away for a bit,if only for that one incredible brief
moment.I would also like to think that just maybe I would
not be afraid of the dare to chance.I guess I will just
have to wait and see , for I still await my "ridiculously
romantic" moment. ~sighs~