as the Oval turns
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2002-02-09 06:01:09 (UTC)

Mixed Feelings

I don't know.

The Asian-American formal is coming up tomorrow, and it's
all good. Everyone and their mama is going...and not just
the Asians, either. Everyone's going to be there, I
think. Even Jenna is going there coupled w/ "Hank." But
I'm not going...part of it is that formals aren't my thing,
but the other thing is that no one asked me. And then
today folks want to ask me if I'm going...whatever. If you
wanted me to go, you'd have asked me. I'm wondering if
Pacey's going...I know that when I talked to him the other
day he didn't mention it, but I know he went last year
w/one of the Gigglies. So who knows. I really hate liking
some fool who couldn't give two craps to the wind about me.

See, here's the thing:

I'm happy for Jenna, that she's going to this, and going
with a nice brotha like Hank at that. Personally, I think
that they would make a cute couple anyway, but she doesn't
see it. In terms of competitive spirit and wisecracking
they are each other's match. They sort of remind me of
Beatrice and Benedick in "Much Ado About Nothing." Just
seeing them together, it's like the love-hate thing going
on. So adorable. In any case, I like seeing my best
friend happy.

But I feel kind of left out, like out the loop. It's not
about whether or not I wanted to go, but it's about the
fact that no one bothered to ask me to go. I don't
necessarily mean a dude. I mean that out of the whole
circle, no one wanted to extend the invitation, and then
the day before, folks are like "oh why aren't you going?"
WTF?!?!?! Don't ask me that. If you gave a care this
would've came up way before now. But okay, whatever.

But then again, if Pacey's going, I wouldn't want to be
there to see him all up under the Gigglies acting stupid.
Well, at least I would hate to see him up under the
Gigglies. I fail to understand how they feel he's fake and
they don't click and he doesn't feel comfortable w/them and
he tries too hard and all this kind of ish but when it
comes to stuff like this the "happy girls" cross his mind
before I do, if I do at all. He better not say shit to me
about how he has to act like something he's not w/those
girls and he's uncomfortable and blah blah blah b/c if it's
like that the only person he has to blame is himself. But
then again maybe I'm going off for nothing and he'll be
chillin' at home just like the rest of us. I'll ask him
when I see him or maybe Jenna will tell me. But most
likely I'll have to hear it from the horse's mouth.

Sometimes I can't stand people b/c they suck.