2002-02-07 06:00:16 (UTC)

"shes easy to become attached..

"shes easy to become attached to"
yes. thank you.

i had a good night tonight. and my day was pretty good too.
i went out with robin and that was pretty much all that i
did. which...was good. i need some chill time without
people. people bring problems. and i dont need any more of
those in my life.

i saw emily tonight. i didnt think i was going to. she
called and wanted to meet me for coffee at this one place
but it was already closed. and then she didnt want to meet
me at all. and it bothered me, not because i didnt have
anyhting to do tonight, because i did. but because it made
me feel like it wasnt about seeing me. it was about the
place. and i didnt like feeling like that so much. but then
she called me and she was already on her way to orlando.
and that made it all better. and im sorry i was unhappy on
the phone at first, thats why. i love you baby.
she burned me a really awesome cd. and i got it tonight =)
its so great. i think im literally in love with one of the
songs on it...its my brand new favorite one. and all of the
other songs are really great too. =) im happy.
i didnt want her to go home tonight. i really didnt at all.
i wanted love. i need love. i need something. ive been so
distant and blah recently. my life has this disgusting
ritualistic thing going on. and im working on it.
this song is taking far too long to dl on my pc.

a lot of times i feel like its a bad thing that a few
peopel i know have the address for this diary.
ive been thinking about getting a new, more private one.
but...i dont know. i dont know how i feel about it. ive
been with this one for so long. over 400 entries. wow.

i love my mom. i hate her problems. but i love her.

"we pay for the stupid things weve done"

i did a lot a lot a lot a lot of thinking today.
a lot
and i decided some things.
made some choices.

i think that things are going to be okay. i hope more than
anything that they will be anyway.

its amazing to me how uninterested in people i can be.
yay for pink.

my back hurts a lot right now. a whole whole lot.

i am SO fucking clean. 3 showers in less than 24 hrs. thats
INSANE for me lol. goodness.