Claudia

once again
2002-02-07 05:00:22 (UTC)

so, now that I know...

So, my good friend on the diary mailed me explanations of
my dreams. They still haven't stopped. I can't do
anything about it. It's all true, I've been deceived by a
good friend and now I'm hurt. But they aren't going away.
But what do I do now? My nerves have been on edge, I can't
sleep a good nights sleep, I'm tired and have another soar
throat, and getting migraines a lot now. I want it to
end. I'm very unhappy...treating everyone around me like
shit. I don't want to be here, I thought I wanted the cold
and snow and rush hour traffic again. I'm just not doing
it. I'm missing lying on the beach on my birthday...happy
birthday to me...21 today. My friends coming by all the
time, always having something to do and people making me
feel good about myself. I am back to my weight when I was
in highschool. When I graduated I lost it all and I was so
happy because I could wear what I wanted to. I can't now.
I don't know, I know in Florida I have no future but here I
have no happiness. I'm lost...can someone help me? I had
this girl emailing me on this for a while and I never wrote
down her address. if she's reading this please write me.
I could use a friend. (was it devotion23?) I want a good
job but I don't want to goto school. I just don't
know...other then this is the shittiest birthday ever.
It's 11 p.m. and I should be out having fun. But I'm at
home with my makeup off and in my night clothes. I feel
51, not 21.