the_buffster

Why won't he get out of my head?!??!

I had yet another Dave dream last night. That boy just
won't go away. In this dream, he and I were at a shadow
class for physics. Not that I'm in physics, but I know he
is... Anyway, there were no more seats so I had to sit on
his lap. He was being surprisingly nice to me, and we
kissed. Of course, this was in a physics shadow class, but
that's besides the point. I just miss him. No, well, maybe.
I don't know anymore. For a while, I was trying to convince
myself that I just missed affection, and it actually had
nothing to do with him, which I still kind of believe. But
I was watching Buffy yesterday and there was a scene where
in Buffy's dream, Spike crawled into her bed and he just
grabbed her and kissed her which is what Dave used to do to
me and I just miss that. I think I just miss that complete
sexual wanting that I had with Dave but that I don't have
anymore. Ergh...

Anyway, Shannon has put me in the worst position possible.
She told me that she wants to break up with Brandon, which
is fine because I'm not going to try to convince her
otherwise. BUT, Brandon keeps asking what is going on with
Shannon, and I have to just play dumb, because I am not
going to get involved in that mess. Today in German,
Brandon told me that he went to Build-A-Bear and made her a
bear that is white with a little red heart on the chest and
wearing white underoos and has a red bow and arrow... And I
wanna tell her that he got her that, but I don't want to
interfere, because that would be bad... But I'm a bad girl.
No! I'm not gonna get involved.

Anyway, my birthday's tomorrow! YEA!!!! I'm gonna be 17.
Not that 17 is all that exciting, but my birthday is my own
personal holiday. I'm gonna get kind of dressed up
tomorrow, which is fun, but in Geology, we're going on a
little hike because it's Ms. Schoen's birthday too... and
I'm not gonna wanna hike in my heels... So I think I'm
gonna bring my flip flops and a pair of jeans and change
during the passing period between Drama and Geology. And
yeah, I guess that's all for now.

"This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time."
-Jack, Fight Club