Christine

Visions Of Life
2002-02-07 02:30:03 (UTC)

Underneath Your Clothes..

2-6-02
7:10pm

Such a good song by Shakira. Damn that goddess is
talented.. That video makes me think of him too.. Im
obsessed or something.. Its hard knowing I fucked things
up.. Can they ever be the same?

I feel fuzzy.. Not functioning properly.. And I will finish
that last entry eventually. I no longer have the courage to
look at my childhood or even youngadulthood...

No more thinking for me... Im just going to stay in my
little world.. I have everything I need here..

Random comment.. what exacally is a pinenut because I want
some.. In my world I never actually see them.. just an
illusion of one.. Then its consumed.. Where can I buy a
pinenut?

I wonder if I can run and hide anymore. I have detached
myself, escaped through drugs and ran to my fantasy world.
What else could I possibly do.. Move? I dont think so. I
guess eventually I will have to face reality but I really
dont want to. Staying detached is healthier. Next time I
wont be so upset..

I am not the only one not communicating and pulling away..
Who ignored and avoided me for 3 days?

Anyways.. I was a bitch earlier. I was getting sick
pleasure out of harassing a christian.. This is someone I
used to talk to all the time like 2 years ago. I hadnt
talked to him for like a year and then finally did and he
was all talking about walking with jesus and preaching to
me about searching out god and all of that shit. Did ya
know that if you just mention the Goddess or the left hand
path, you can make a christian tremble? Im amused.. I have
no faith as of now.. But I can pretend..

Oh, did you know that I am going to hell? Its true, a
Christian told me so. All because I dont believe in heaven
or hell.. Boo Hoo..

Dont mind me.. Im being "aggressive" as I was called
earlier. "Life is a bitch then you die so FUCK the world
and lets get high!" Yeah, fuck the world.. i dont need any
of this shit.. Time for me to start being selfish and
bitchy because being nice isnt worth it.. especially when
everyone else in the world is selfish.. and the sad thing
is.. they dont even realize it..

Wow.. I am quite bitter and angry tonight.. My brain waves
are on fire.. Poison of rejection or something. I hate
being rejected but I am so used to it by now..

"Better to rule in hell then serve in heaven" Hmmm.. my
version.. "Better to be reincarnated as a beetle then live
at Gods feet.." If you cameback as a bug, you would only
have to suffer in this life for a short time.. But what if
someone ate you.. Like a human? That might hurt.. crunch
crunch..(I saw humans eating bugs on MTV's dismissed..Could
be.. interesting..and..exotic...)

Rah! There is a shortage of diet pepsi in gas stations
lately.. Its annoying.. It must be a conspiracy.. watch..
when I leave they bring out the crates..

Okay.. the wave of bitter vibrations has passed.. Im off to
go play with my neopet.. bye


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