The Shadow of Myself
Ad 0:
2002-02-06 06:00:10 (UTC)

I won't say anything...

I just want to know there is love there. I don't want
anything to happen right now. I just want to know there is
someone willing to wait for me. That would be the coolest
feeling.. to know that someone was just waiting for me to
be the best person I could be. I guess just seeing that
they cared enough to be beside me in that... well it'd be

I don't want what I wanted before. I do want love.. but I
don't want the kind of love I used to want. I just want a
love that grows.. so like.. I have someone to share with.
I probably can't even explain it b/c I don't know how.

Anyway.. I still know that God is working in me and I'm not
ready.. but that's all cool. I still have this thing for
this person.. that is mostly not something I can describe.

And this is where I stop talking about it.. right now.. b/c
I don't want to think about this.. it makes me mad that I'm
thinking about it. I shouldn't be this way. This is so
unfair.. errrr. So what do I do.. I ask like every guy I
can (that I know doesn't know him that well) and I'm like
what am I supposed to do?? They all have different answers
for me.. they're trying to be really helpful. And at the
same time.. I'm talking to him.. and thinking.. if he only
knew. I want him to know.. but I also don't. (so I guess
I was kidding about the whole I'm going to stop talking
about it thing.. yeah)

So.. here's my point I guess. What I want.. is not a
boyfriend.. I want to be his best friend. That's probably
a big thing to want... but there it is. Maybe someday I'll
tell him.. or hopefully.. someday we'll both know.. and I
won't have said anything...