*MS JLYN*

*ALL CRIED OUT OVER U*
2002-02-05 21:57:01 (UTC)

BECOMING..............

Well, I've gotten all my GSU information....I'll be sending
off all my housing applications and stuff soon. Very
excited! Tomorrow is our Senior Reception. I'm gonna look
like a school teacher, but hey, that's what I want to be,
so it's cool. I will be comfortable and not cold like most
will end up being. Like I've said in the past, I really
don't like dressing up anymore. Anyway, I think I'm
becoming more and more like Jacan as the days go on. For
one, the way she sees kissing...I kinda see it that way
too. Secondly, being crazy....I'm starting to act like
that. And last, holding a grudge and putting people out of
your life because they are HOES(Leroy). Okay ok, it's like
this.....when I told Leroy about me getting accepted into
GSU, he said something that was really stupid....like I actually
cared to hear it. He was like, "Yeah, I got a friend who
goes to Georgia State, and I go see her too." Was that
stupid or what? I didn't ask to hear that shit. Oh yeah,
good for him. Give him a cookie!!! Now, this was like two
weeks ago, but I'm still stuck on putting him out of my
life. Like, he knew how much I wanted to go there, and
instead of being happy for his friend and saying it....he
says something that is totally irrevelant to the subject. I
could see if we were talking about something dealing
with "friends" at colleges, but we weren't. It was just
stupid! And the "friend".....HA! You know how when you go
off to college and you are suppose to meet all these
people and deal with new people and stuff? Sure you do! If you want
to talk about going to see a "friend," at least bring some new flava!
Well, I'm not stupid! It doesn't take much to put one and
one together....a friend??? Ummm, let's see??? Could her
name be Katuriah(however you spell it)? Okay Leroy, you
should have kept that one to yourself! Oh yeah, next time
you get a little hungry.....don't come to Zaxbys....just go
to McDonalds and let Ceji hook you up! I HATE HOES!!!!! I
think Shay Smith said it best about Leroy....."You can't
turn a HOE into a good man." I think the only reason this
kind of stuff makes me upset is because a nigga expects you
to be a certain way....but the same rule doesn't apply to
him. I will never be a ho.....NEVER......so I won't keep
those who are in my company. So, if you see me on the
street.....don't speak to me because I'm not going to speak
to you! This isn't one of these "oh, i might change my mind
tomorrow" kind of things. I can no longer be friends with
people who are only waiting to see the negative in me and
not behind me 100%. I feel like if I'm there being positive
for you, you should do the same. Especially if I've never
given you a reason to do me like this. As though I've done
you wrong all along. NO! It wasn't like that, so from now
on.....don't look my way.....stay out my way!

Becoming what you never expected me to be....freed of
thoughts of you!, ~JOCELYN~