Nothing but drama....
2002-02-05 19:45:05 (UTC)

Am I bad or what.....

Its the 5th of February, I havent written an entry
since....forever it seems. I really havent had anythnig I
needed to get off my chest...everything has been going ok.
No fighting or arguements, just keeping busy with Jonathan.
He is growing so much, and getting cuter by the minute. Boy
I love my son!!!

Anyway, Im looking for a job. I am so broke. Its not even
funny. Im anxious to start back at work, but I feel bad
know ing I will have to leave Jonathan somewhere, whether
it be at his Grandma's or a kills me to think
they are just going to let him cry, and that some other
baby will have priorty. JOnathan has a temper, but I only
seem to understand him. Sometimes I feel bad that he cant
be all quiet and sit still, like all other babies, but I
hsouldnt complain....he is sooooo alert, and takes
everything in. Looks at the most detailed things, the
colors, the shapes, at people....he knows who is Mommy and
Daddy are....hes very alert and I like that about him..But
the thought of leaving him with someone terrifies me. Its
something I have to though....UGH!
Besides the baby, Damien and I are doing fine. Nothing too
exciting really. I just love him, even though he doesnt
seem to think so. I wish I had the energy to make love all
day long, but honestly by the end of the day I am
exhausted, and rather rest and go to sleep. I think maybe
once Jonathan starts sleeping through the night, that will
help..although its during the day hes is up the most...He
is a handful...Pheeeeew!
Valentines is coming up, and I wanna do something special
for Damien, but what? Somethign to think about I guess...
well my time is up, my little one just woke least i
got 15 minutes....I will write another day.

I love you Damien!
I love you Jonathan!

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