time walker

Dragon grl
2002-02-04 23:13:39 (UTC)

Exsiting

I realized something, I'm not living, I'm exsting. It's not
the same thing don't let anyone tell you it is. I work to
have fun when before all I had to do to enjoy my life was
think about my friends. I in the middel of last semester
came under the opinon that no one would miss me if I was
gone. One of the biggest protesters to that was the only
person I ever loved. They said they would miss me. YetI now
have very littel contact with them and they seem like they
couldn't be better. I on the other hand pray for the night
so I may enter my drug indosed sleep. If I'm lucky I'll
dream of them and they'll be back with me. Even if thier
only just my friend. I cling to these dreams. It's all I
have the times when I'm alone with my thoughts are hell.
Every sweet and wonderful meory replays in my head. I
can't stop it, it reminds me of what I really lost. When he
left he took a part of me with him. I rember dancing with
him and being the happiest I have ever been in my life.
Just swaying to the music the night felt like it would
never end. When we were dating we never got another dance.
I really don't blame him for breaking up with me. But it
dosen't stop the pain.
I can't watch people slow dance. I can't. I'm going to go
to prom. I'm might as well be going to hell. Who want's to
go to prom with some one like me. Not a damn soul. I'm
below everyone someone going to prom with me might as well
be saying make fun of me I'm going to prom with Sara.
I'm planning a dance for color guard. It's all I have.
Some one once told me they would love anyone who trusted
them like I did. Well look at what that trust got me a pile
of memories and the dialtone of the phone.




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