Visions Of Life
2002-02-04 21:20:27 (UTC)

Free Entertainment..


The museum is having free admission on wednsday but I doubt
I can go.. Tragic! I am going to see the Imax there soon
with my grandparents but I want to wander around the museum,
look at the animal exhibit, the stones, the mummies, etc
etc. Last time I was there I saw the viking exhibit, That
kicked ass! The zoo is offering free admission on Valentines
Day(the 14th is V-day isnt it?) but I also dont think I can
go. Too far for me to drive.. lol. I think I have an
obsession with free and educational entertainment.. lol

I am not sure how I am doing today.. I have a knot in the
bottom of my stomach. Woke up with it. I am quite anxious
and stressed and paranoid.. No reason, just am. Well, I know
there is a reason but I am trying not to think about that..

You know whats weird. When I was younger, various family
members like my grandparents or aunt were always inviting me
to go do stuff with them like see a movie or go to Imax.
Then they stopped. Maybe I was too withdrawn into my lil
world.. I just dont know. Then, when I moved, my
grandparents started inviting me to do all sorts of stuff.
Have I changed since Ive moved out? Am I more alive? More
open? More fun? The answers I know not.

I feel a shadow behind me, mocking, waiting to pounce. Each
day it gains strength. I am weak against its powers.
Gnawing, it lashes out at me. I cannot win. I am pulled into
the depths of darkness.

Such dreams in my head
Visions of stability
Ever present warmth
An arm with mine
Gazing at the stars
Happily living on

The truth kills out reason
Extinguished flame
Sacrafice my fire
No one to even share
Gazing at the shadows
Forever isolated