Jessica

lost and confused
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2002-02-04 19:23:29 (UTC)

Well, today I finally talked to..

Well, today I finally talked to him after not hearing from
him since Friday. I found out that he came into town Friday
and lied to me about it. I confronted him today and he
still denied it. I asked one last time and he finally told
me that he was in town Friday. He said he was just trying
to get a loan from Mike. But if he lied about his
whereabouts, then why should I believe why he was in town.
He told me that he needed 500.00 dollars. I knew he was
gonna ask me for money again. I want to loan it to him,
just because I fear loseing him, but then again what do I
lose? I just lose someone that is just useing me. I need to
stand strong, but he his my weakness. When I hear his
voice, I completely go weak in the knees and in the heart.
He knows he does that to me. I hate him for that. I know
that he would never be there if I ever needed him for
anything, so why do I want to help him out? because I love
him and love is blind. I haven't given him the money yet, I
feel better knowing that I would be a good person to help
him, but I want to tell him it's the money or me because I
don't want to do this anymore. He can take the money and
pay his debts or have my heart. I guess we'll see which one
he picks. It doesn't take a genious to know he will take
the money and run. But at least I will know my answer and
get on with my life. This is probably the highest amount I
have ever paid for an answer that I already know.Oh well,
If there's anybody out there than can help me with a better
solution. Please write back.


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