Shower and secrets
one thing i've noticed about showering, is what i like to
call the shower paradox. you (or atleast i) can never
really bring my lazy ass to get into the shower and get it
all started, but once i'm in i can't seem to stop. i love
the hot water, and it damn near takes me forever to get
out. i can't shower "quickly". now what i'm getting at is
the fact that i do not appreciate being hurried during my
showers. i am a very burden-ridden white male and i need
to relieve myself of my "stress" so for god's sake when
you cleaning ladies MUST clean the showers for the third
time of the day just leave me in peace.....please!
-- butch dykes at sbarro's do not have a sense of humor.
for example. one of those gentle giants misplaced my roll
as she handed me my spaghetti and meatballs. muttering to
herself she looks aruond in a disconcerted manner as to
where that deliciously doughy delicatessen may have gone.
now i thought it would be funny if i suggested, "maybe
it's wedged between your fat butch dyke thighs".......yeah
they didn't think it was funny either.
-- so everything needs a meaning right? so does college.
what is college? college is the "best" time of your life
and you'd better not fuck it up! make sure you're having
the best time of your life or else you'll never have a
good time! ever! for the love of god have fun. college is
waking up at 4 p.m. and then not expending the energy to
scratch your balls. college is intellectual carelessness.
you've read this book? you like this band? you know about
the oedipus complex? really?! wow! hey guess what? i
really dont' give a flying fuck! but.....i'll talk to
you, and maybe i'll change my mind, but only if you
pretend to listen to me too. i mean come on, we don't ever
really want to listen (unless she has nice tits). we want
to start our thought the second we lose ours to the new
thought tumbling out of our "friends" mouth. this is not
bad, i mean so what if people love to talk, no problem
really. another thing is confidential information. for
the life of me. people love the ole' confidential
information. it doesn't matter at what stage it's always
a blast from the past.
-- what the fuck is up with secrets? why are we so
tickled when we're the ONLY ones that know something? why
do we want to know about other people's secrets?
theoretically to be "good" people we should mind our
business, but come on guys, how much fun is that? the
bottom line is that it rocks to be included, and if we're
not we're going to pry long enough till we are are atleast
sorta in it. it's sorta like getting the door slammed on
you and putting your foot in the crack, all though you
can't get it all the way open you can still peak in and
let the others know that you're quite aware. shit, i like
it, you like it, we all like it. secret clubs, secret
codes, secret this secret that..........sure we may
complain, we may be thrilled when we're confided in, but
the bottom line is this......we need secrets just as much
as we need dancing guinea pigs to make us laugh during