Missy

The Eye Into My Soul
2002-02-04 05:23:44 (UTC)

that girl...

This has been on my mind recently so I am going to explain
the whole situation... keep in mind that I probably am way
over reacting, besides it happened a long time ago so some
of it has fuzzed a bit over the time.

When I was 10 this girl came to live with my family. Her
mother couldn't handle the fact that her father and uncle
had sexually molested her since the time she was pretty
small. So, her mom who worked at the same hospital as my
mom told my mom the situation and mom volunteered to take
her in. Not too much time after this my parents got legal
guardianship of her... she was 16 at the time. When she
first came to live with us I was really excited... I mean I
was an only child and figured that it would be great to
have a sister. Well, it wasn't nearly as good as I thought
it was going to be. She was very troubled and tended to
take it out on me. I was not used to being treated bad and
was distraught when she would purposely pick fights with
me.

I guess it didn't really get bad until we moved to
Kentucky. When we moved she moved with us (she lived with
us for a total of three years). I hated the idea of
starting a new school and she didn't help because she told
all sorts of hatefull stories about living with my family.
After she started having random sex with guys who went to
our school my parents decided that they had had enough and
told her that if she didn't stop then she would have to
find somewhere else to live. It didn't stop though... our
next door neighbor caught her and some boy in the woods
near our house and told my parents... I really don't care
about all that... it's her own business if she wanted to
sleep with every guy in town. The part that I hated was at
night when she would tell me about it all... I remember her
telling me that if I ever told my parents she would do
something to me. I was so glad when she finally left our
house to go and live with her g-ma.

Sometimes she calls our house and talks to my parents...
she's married now and has two kids. A couple of years ago
she called and appologized to my parents for what she had
done. She asks about me when she calls... mom always tells
me that she does. I just can't seem to make myself talk to
her... I have told myself a thousand times how stupid I am
being by holding a grudge like this. I mean she was abused
as a child and I know that a lot of people who are abused
have problems... but I just can't make myself see it that
way.

I don't even think that I am mad because of all the things
that she did to me but that she hurt my family because
during all of it we never talked about it... I never
mentioned it because I didn't want to have to lie about the
things she had told me. I was young and didn't need to know
all of that stuff. I want my parents to be as mad as I
am... I don't want them to talk to her... I don't want them
to love her (or her kids... which they refer to as their
grankids)... I guess the real problem is that I feel like
that by loving her they somehow love me less. I know that's
stupid and that they love me more than anything else but I
just can't seem to make myself believe it. Geez, I can't
believe I'm so bitter about this...