le soleil et la lune
2002-02-04 03:35:51 (UTC)

missing them

Melody called me today once she had gotten back to school.
I miss seeing her everyday and telling her everything every
night. And to think that I wouldn't have met her if I
hadn't gone to S&M. I think that this weekend is the first
time I have ever regretted leaving. I mean, on Friday it
was cool to walk around with Casey and CJ, but they didn't
understand the whole 9th street thing or the pictures of
people doing wacky stuff outside the halls.
When I talked to Melody today, an instant smile broke out
across my face, and at the same time I wanted to cry. I
wanted to be there talking to her face to face. I wanted
to be there seeing all of my friends using each others ID's
to get pierced at Dogstar. I wanted to be there laughing
at the people who joined Jessica's booby club. I wanted to
hang my acceptance letters outside of my door and make my
poster that proclaims I'm going to state or carolina. I
don't know why, but I just want to be there. Maybe if I
was there all of this stuff that keeps clouding my mind
wouldn't be there. It's hard to worry about petty things,
or silly things when you have to make a schedule so you can
possibly get all of your work done, eat, and get at least 3
hours of sleep. It seems like life as a normal teenager is
full of trivial things, and I hate being pulled back into
worrying about them. At S&M other things seemed so much
more important than if I was wasting my time trying to hook
up with some guy, or letting my emotions actually control
me to make stuff interesting.