blueswede

The Nine Faces of Dave
2002-02-03 07:51:49 (UTC)

saturday evening jazz

So it's 2:30 A.M. on a Saturday, and I'm sitting here typing
in this journal. What joy. While other people are either
sleeping or partying, I'm on the computer downloading Django
Reinhardt songs off Morpheus. Fun fun.

All right, here's the deal. I've been on a four-day weekend
thanks to the weather. Thursday, didn't do jack. Friday,
saw "Lord of the Rings." Today? Next to nothing. Studied
for my economics class, played a little table tennis. But
here's the crowning glory: Saturday night. What did most
people my age do? Go to the movies, hang out with friends,
go out on dates, etc. What did I do? Defragmented one of
my hard drives. Yes, I have more than one.

Yeah, I'm feeling a little bitter, a little lame, and a
little discouraged. I mean, look at me. Saturday night,
and what goes on? I defragment my hard drive, then download
three songs by a guy almost no one my age has ever even
heard of. Jazz guitar, no less!

Sure, one could say, "Well, the defrag needed to be done,
and if you like jazz guitar, go for it!" (Note: I'd really
like decent recordings of these songs.) But why on Saturday
night? The traditional night for partying and carrying on,
and I spend it doing computer stuff and studying.

It's this sort of thing that breeds my self-loathing. Never
doing what I really want to do, all the while realizing deep
down that I'm too weak to improve upon my situation. Find a
girlfriend? Find a job? Ha! I can't even find myself.




Ad: