Forgotten Misery
2002-02-03 01:06:10 (UTC)


Hey you all lol! How are u? Im good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had the best time last night it was great! Me and sarah,
jill, lauren all went to the mall and stayed the night at
sarahs we had so much fun it was crazy we went into hot
topic and so almost got kicked out cause we were being so
loud sarah and jill were trying on like plastic leather
dresses and full body suits it was great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well they have convinced me to go to the winter dance
which is like prom. So I'm going to wear the dress I got
for military ball get my hair/nails done. So it will be
fun. Im going in a big group so i will be ok I still wish
I could get someone from home to come up and go with me. I
asked Geoff not sure wont make him work on the
weekend thats to funny! Ryan worked every sunday and jake
worked early sat and sun so yeah target is the devil store
all my x's that meant anything to me have worked or
currently work there. Good God! Anyways I doubt G will
Be able to come up here I really wish some how he could it would be
really nice.

I called my girl jamie today cause I havent got to talk to
her in ages and I got an e-mail and I was like I miss her
so much so I called. We had a nice long convo on things
talked about jason and the one time he was bowling with us
he was like geez everytime andrea gets ready to leave we
get closer i hate that guess im gonna miss her alot to...
I needed to hear something like that today I needed it. It
gets hard when all your friends have there boyfriends who
are ur friends to and they are all cute and hold hands and
kiss it just makes me long to have someone to call my own
again and ::the one U chase chases u away::
I need to send the letter i wrote maggie knew i was forgetting
something today. ::well the broken hearted buries thier
tears,they pick up the pieces, and start to run::

I came up with this metaphor today since im in a deppressed
mood right now damn depression! well before i moved so
many things were going on and i refused to face them I Had
first off everything with jake kruer, then my grandma,
things were going really ruff with my parents, me and my
brother werent getting along, and then my friends were
starting to push me away i felt like an outcast since the
day i annouced my house sold and i was to move. I ran hard
and fast from all of this I tried running to the person who
could make everything ok by just holding me. well the
person I ran to started to push me away too fights broke
out ones filled with pain till the day i couldnt take it,
everything that had built up inside me all the pain and
confusion i had felt for months just blew up all on him and
there i was I stoped running I stood on my own the last
week of school I stood alone with the stains of tears on my
cheeks and pieces of my heart left to those i love and
cheerish. I quietly said goodbye but the running I had
done took its toll it took a violent one. my grades
suffered my finals I bombed barely passing them with a c or
d then spanish the f came tore me apart the time I spent
running from my parents from the pain from the fact i was
losing the guy I loved took its toll I thought i was ok
and going to do fine but I guess the hours i sat studying
the past must of been playing through my mind the memories
of better days all I had been through and those who were
there for me.

Love Always,