2001-04-23 19:04:36 (UTC)

when it finally came down to my..

when it finally came down to my due date.. i went to the
hospital and my family showed up. my dad and i had made up
by this time .. and i was so fearful as to .. would anyone
see the resemblence.. would they know he was the father..
what would happen to me.. at the time i was on assistance
and had signed papers saying ididn't know who the father
was.. so many thoughts in my mind .. and carrying around
such a huge secret from my brothers my family.. parents,
etc.. the stress was unbelievable.. so about 11 days before
my due date i had begun saying a novena to St. Theresa..
She is a catholic saint who has a novena and says that in
the end she will send roses.. if your request is in
accordance with Gods will ofcourse.. well i had prayed that
i have a Girl and she look just like me and to let me know
it would be alright and that God would take care of her and
me.. well i'll tell you .. i paid for everything with my
delivery .. OUCH and of course there were many
complications.. my daughter wasn't breathing when she was
born etc.. but it all worked out .. in the end.. the last
night i was in the hospital .. i had left my tv on.. the
other nights i had turned it off.. and i woke up at 4:30
a.m. just before tv goes back on the air.. i woke to a
screen full of orange roses.. i promised st. theresa if my
prayers were answered i would name my daughter after her in
some way .. hence is why her middle name is theresa.. after
about a half hour.. the nurse brought in my baby and asked
if i wanted to take her for feeding .. and i did.. i fell
asleep with her in my bed and woke up to my mom and dad in
the room .. with us.. my dad.. and my daughter have been
extremely close over the years.. and he really has been
wonderful.. to her..

since then i have told my parents who the father is ..
because after awhile i couldn't stand the isolation.. it
haunted me over the years.. we went through alot and i went
through my own little private HELL.. i will write more in a