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2002-02-01 18:05:46 (UTC)

A Rainy Friday

It's another rainy day this week. Only the first full week
back and the weather is all ready being annoying. So Cara
and Julia have chosen to room together next year. And Tara
and Dawn want to be together. I guess it will be cool to
room with Kristin next year. We did kind of plan that. But
why was I left out? Was it assumed that I had someone else
to room with? OR did they possibly just not care where or
who I lived with next year? I thought we were all friends,
ut lately I just feel so out of the loop. I feel discluded.
The outcast or something ridiculous like that. I'm clean.
I'm nice. But I guess I am annoying or something. No one
wants to live with me next year. They forgot about me.
People always say, " no one could ever forget you, Candi."
But they do. This isn't a search for pity or whinny temper
tantrum. I just feel really hurt that I wasn't included in
any plans for next year. I guess it doesn't matter.
Apparently, they don't consider me a close friend. I don't
like that, but I have no control over how they feel. So
life will go on I guess. Kristin is cool and we have fun
togther. Only I don't drink or some up or any of that
stuff. I shouldn't be trying to plan the future so far in
advanced I guess. So I will finish off this semester and
see were life takes me. I may not even stay here at
Hartford. I could transfer to SUNY Oneonta and make a whole
new group of friends. Maybe they will like me more.
Besides, it is so much cheaper to go to school there. Oy
Vey! I don't know anymore. I don't know what I want or what
will make me happy. I just want to be happy, no matter what
it takes.