Reality Bites
2002-02-01 17:38:57 (UTC)

Times like these

Ok, wow, I slept so well last night, I just was out from
like 12-10..It's nice. I'm really glad I'm not going to
school today. For some reason, I just really didn't want to
go. I did because Eddie will be there picking up his stuff
and I wanted to talk to him, but also, I don't because
knowing how PMSie I am this week, I'd probably cry or
something lol. I will really miss him. He's so cute, and
smart, and just great-but a total retard. Oh gosh I don't
even want to get into it....But there goes my one chance to
get over Jesse by distraction.

Alyssa was funny, I called to tell her that I wasn't going
to school last night, and she's all, "You know Ang, I think
this means that you and Jesse are supposed to be together
because from what I hear, Eddie was going to ask you to do
something this weekend,...and he was going to ask you
tomarrow but now that he's abruptly just gone, he
can't...If that's not fate pushing you and Jesse together,
then I don't know what is."

It's a cute thought I guess, but Jesse is so confused I
think...Yesterday he asked me for a picture of my friend
who's a senior who he thinks is really hot and so I gave
him one..but oh man, yesterday was not the day to ask me
that. I was all like "take your picture i dont even want
it" lol, jelous much?! I knowwwww! Then later he showed me
the picture, and I was thinking..."Are you stupid?!" lol
because he saw how upset I was b4, and he's all, "Thank you
for this, I'm gonna put it right next to the picture I have
of us." and I was like, "In your locker?" and he's all,
"No, I have that picture in my room where I can see it all
the time silly!" I was like, "Ohhh ok:)" Gosh, he does
always know just what to say (SOMETIMES! lol....I dunno,

Last night when I was crying I just kept thinking about how
much I was gonna miss seeing Eddie, and what could have
been with us, and gosh..and also tons of other stuff, like
why am I THAT much of a reject that Jes doesn't like me?
Everyone says Jes is comfortable with me liking him, and I
know it's true, like he knows that no matter what I'm gonna
like him I think...I dunno, he should know I wont wait
around for him, but the thing is, the more I try to break
away the more I want to I think that I will wait
around for him...sad thought I know